today’s Musing written and published from
Morning walk: 9C/48F, calm in glorious sunshine – Gusta enjoyed the tall damp grass around the lagoon where the bird sounds were nearly deafening (cross between endless dinging casino machines / stadium of vuvuzelas) . .
Last night – walking along the ridge, overlooking rain and runoff swollen Bow, pushing her banks to the limit as many prairie rivers are bursting this weekend, it was eerie sight, mountain views morphed to twilight on 2nd shortest night of the year, rosy tinted sky moving from W-NW to N to NE …. so quiet, powerful; spring ends, summer solstice arrives tomorrow at 7:28EDT.
Today, 4th afternoon in a row, I’ll be torn between getting outside vis-à-vis watching US Open golf on TV …. and again, golf will win. I won’t be idle; roasting a chicken to take to my dad’s for Father’s Day Dinner … and visit with him.
There is a time, I’m sure - every father must wonder what he got himself into – whether or not he has shown his children the right values, a credible example or offered the best form of advice. Being a father, or having one, is something we take for granted too often – a day to day thing, every day thing, without thinking - we just ARE fathers, and HAVE fathers. There is not thinking about it, it just is that way.
This day, once a year, shines light on these fundamental relationships. What happens, for me, is that the many fine times and successes I remember get overshadowed in my mind by thoughts about where I came up short, fell short or left my kids short-changed because I was not there for them in ways I could have been, should have been.
Looking back, most things I could have done weren’t all that hard, if I’d only seen them, if my head hadn’t been up my ass at the time. Looking back is clear. Looking forward is a choice, of being open to being better in the role; or, of just marking time till the next card-event holiday. I’d like to be better at the first kind.
My hope is that my children will be better parents than I was; not to say I was bad – I wasn’t; but I know I was only a portion of what I could have been if I’d given it my effort.
Missed opportunities are opportunities not explored - once they’re gone, we never get them back. Or, maybe that explains efforts of grandparents, realizing what they’ve missed – being given second chances, or for those who missed out completely, a first chance all over again. I believe, for all of us, it is never too late to re-look, re-think, re-try.
~~~
RIPE - archived poetry
At store, or
in a market
we pick fruit
or tomatoes
with care – we
turn them over
check them
leave bruised
ones, over-ripe
ones and
damaged ones
too – set aside
and left behind,
taking
only the best
home with us;
but when
we pick people
most are bruised
damaged
in some way -
we pick them
anyway,
love them
anyway
don’t worry
about their
bruises
their flaws
yet so often –
when we are
picked
we don’t
see ourselves
worthy
of the picking
don’t
see ourselves
measuring up
to some
imaginary standard,
sometimes
someone
just thought
we were nice
and right
for pickin’
~~~
Mark Kolke
321,628
RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com
June 19 Comments
June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? – I really always enjoy the pieces by Frances Ort. I gather that you are deeply attached to her. She sounds like a splendid person. MAD,
June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - Hey Mark. I just tried to use the link to the "World's Best News Service" and it did not work. It came up "Page not found". Just thought I'd let you know, CR, Calgary, AB
June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - You must know that I am able to see you clearly, Mark, because I respect that part of you more so than perhaps any other part of you. Why? Because that is 'the real Mark' shining thru. And so rare, that a man, is so clearly able to go there. To use a medium such as the craft of writing, to be able to articulate what you are feelings, sensing into words & then actually type them out before you become too afraid to do so, means a lot to me---although I suspect it means a lot to all who read you. Mark, it's a real accomplishment that you are able to give your pain 'life' enabling someone else to experience a healing & release, by opening up & 'letting it all go' to give it all to the universe allowing a solid outlet, show that your ability to 'write with such feeling & emotion' is unlimited so long as you are still 'feeling the pain & joy' of living that apparently you do so very deeply, passionately. Everyday, Mark, I read you, and what you write 'daily' tends to touch me so deeply, (because I am able to feel you----do you understand what I am saying to you? I feel your pain & your joy Mark, and it's personal) & for the life of me, I don't understand why that is----therefore, I know it is spiritual. Mark, from the first time I read you, I thought to myself, this man is 'so incredibly deep', passionate, stirring, almost scarily so. But I know that is a trait, a characteristic that I admire, that I relate to, that I find real. I am proud of you, for allowing yourself to vomit upon the page what you feel deep within your heart, soul, mind & body. I wish you a glorious & very Happy Father's Day! Be safe and have fun. Aloha hugs and love, PF, Honolulu, HI
June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - good morning Mark... Happy Father's Day... hope your kids treat you well...and are you seeing your dad? Re:sabbatical - yes sometimes I just feel like it is best to "give up" but not really, and learn to LOVE the singles life. You have lots to offer, and I am positive that the universe will bring the right lady at the right time. I think it is important to not close off and keep that amazing heart open for opportunity ... my kids tell me to stop trying so hard!! :) I continue to enjoy your musings...thanks for introducing me to them. Have a great day and happy writing, DG, Edmonton, AB
June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - I am happily busy, but not so very very busy as before - I am settled in my new place, loving it, loving life, playing golf and tennis, working and keeping fit. Enjoying your writings from time to time - admittedly don't read them every day but really enjoy them when I do read them so please don't write me out of the pleasure. Hope you are well and Happy Father's Day, AF, Vancouver, BC
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