Mark Is Musing

ROAD TO TRUTH - Wednesday June 16, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 7C/45F, drizzle again, (some orange leaked over horizon briefly at sunrise), sunny day is blocked from view by an all-day all-gray lid, but I know it’s there. Gusta loves being wet but doesn’t like the toweling-off that follows . . .

 

Hmmm . . .sun blocked from view, but I know it’s there.  Are you blocked from seeing what you want, or is someone blocked from seeing you?

 

Some days I wax in complex discussion, messages or deep digging in bowels of my actions, serious looks taken in rear-view mirrors.  This is not one of those. Feeling refreshed by sleep, bouncing off a series of long productive good days, my plate is cleared for new things better than it has been in a long while - today is a day for starts.

 

New starts. Fresh starts. Many starts.  I like this quote, as good as I’ve read, on the value of starting: ‘There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth … not going all the way, and not starting.’ – Buddha

 

Stop whatever you were doing. Start now, not later, but right now.

 

Start what? Doesn’t matter, just start.

 

Working hard . . .  Telling truths . . .  Talking about dreams . . .  Acting on instinct . . .

Smiling . . . Praising . . . Teaching . . . Learning . . .

 

Sure, there’s more, but first . . . just start.  NOW!

 

Start now.

 

Don’t even dream about stopping, don’t think about hesitating – best of everything (including but not limited to: relationships, business, saving the world, walking your dog, mending a fence) is great because, in the beginning, someone began it.

 

~~~

MISSED OPPORTUNITY - archived poetry

 

Every day

adventure tries,

it brings challenge

and risk of failure;

focuses on things

which must be done

leaving little time

or energy for

things we want done

because we think about

what we have to do

ahead of what

we want to do,

logic overcomes spirit

and responsibility

of duty, service and

obligation – too often

no balancing act

can work to measure,

must from want

or recover

opportunity

once lost.

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,724

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 15 - CRACKS BETWEEN THE WEDGES – circles – I have a book, packed away somewhere, that approaches writing and ideas with circles.  As you described, different sizes, colors and interlocking for relations between ideas.  It is supposed to help organize and free up the creative mind and transition from the unstructured idea stage to the linear typing, sentence structure, making sense of idea stage, never thought to apply it to "life." So, is the toe diagnosis good news or bad news?, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

June 15 - CRACKS BETWEEN THE WEDGES - Just saw a darling movie "Life or Something Like it"...really cute with Angelina Jolie...she starts questioning the meaning of her life after she's been told she has just one week to live...reminds me of you and your eternal questioning of life!, SY, Honolulu, HI

 

CRACKS BETWEEN THE WEDGES - Tuesday June 15, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 8C/46F, overcast, drizzling (feeling smug - mowed my back-yard hayfield yesterday, in advance of this rain), that kind of west-coast kind of drizzle that feels like it will last more than a week . . . but the freshness of the air is hard to equal; Gusta soaked head-to-paw and loving it, cause that’s what towels are for.

 

Recovering fatigue/exhaustion mode today, perfect match for drizzly; errands, a work-out, some paper to push. Full-tilt resumes tomorrow; my absence of vigor exacerbated by my doctor’s comment yesterday - big toe trouble is not gout as many readers suspected/chided me, but osteo-arthritis. I won’t be an old dog any longer, but aging-toe instead.

 

Two streams of thoughts emerging; what I want and how I allocate time/energy.

 

First, in discussion recently with a new acquaintance, the discussion of what we each find we want in a relationship, a partner, a lover, a companion – an equal without equal, a charmer above all charms, sweetness beyond sugar (getting the picture?):

 

Hers: someone who wants me.....doesn't need me, someone I want to take my clothes off for, someone who loves me and cares for me as my parents did......I think "they call that unconditional love", someone what makes sharing a cup of coffee special, a call from him makes my day, where the two of us are bigger and better than the two of us separately, a secure feeling when you wake up and he is there beside you, a dog lover, appreciates the simple things in life.....a friend and lover forever and ever and ever!!!!!!!!!! and ever!

 

Mine: feeling free, happy, fulfilled, flexible, committed, joyed, loved and loving someone I can't wait to wake up with every morning and spend all day feeling I can't wait to get home to her, can't wait to lay with her all night long - all life long .... wherein we both support the other as unwavering cheerleader and caring critic ... where laughter and serious talk are sprinkled in every sparing session . . in every moment of lovemaking . . with no 'best before' date

 

Hmmm . . .

 

Second, Frank Dabbs, on a recent trip to Calgary counseled me on my writing efforts over a sumptuous buffet lunch – he ate veggies, I ate the protein – he advised me to alter my work/writing routine, get ‘off the treadmill’ to free myself for flexibility time(I think he meant waking hours not-exhausted), so making a living was not pressuring me.  Good theory, but crappy practice unless you win the lottery, which I have not though I continue to buy tickets anyway . . .

 

This might work . . .

 

My new premise; rather than grousing about inability to balance these things in order to optimize effectiveness in either pursuit, I’ll just be best at both.   Both is the wrong word. Best at all. When I tally the things I’m working on it seems like a 12 slice pie of which writing is 2 or 3 skinny wedges, work in real estate seems to be about 6 and the rest of my work and play pursuits seem to take up the rest, with room for sleep, exercise, good diet and actual ‘think-time’ falling in the cracks between the wedges. Too, there is this notion, that a great relationship with an awesome woman would be great, but that might take up some wedges too. so the question arises, what will I give up to give enough time to things I want more? How to rank them?

 

I’ve struck on a new idea – and this might work.

 

Instead of drawing wedges of pie on a big circle drawing taped to my bathroom mirror, I’m switching to circles – big ones, small one, medium sized ones; for fun I might color them too – bright happy colors for sleeping, eating, reading, exercise, cooking, gardening, Toastmasters, travel; dark gray or blue for things like accounting, bill-paying etc.. There could be contrasting happy tones for work, transactions, clients. I’ll reserve something unique for passions (in addition to those bright happy colors)  - golf, Hawaii, writing, Gusto, hot women (I’ll try to focus on just one at a time).  The overlapping circles, varying sizes and colors, can’t be two dimensional though – they need three or four, like balloons on steroids.

 

This might work . . .

 

Best at all, no best before date  . . here’s to circles, balloons and healthy big toes.

 

~~~

HALF WAY - archived poetry

 

Actions

are lessons

we teach

ourselves by

testing views

those limits

to our vision

we encounter

opposition to

getting what

we want – those

reactions are

lessons we learn

someone else’s

understanding

different than

our own, just maybe

they are more right

we are more wrong

about something – in

these actions

and reactions

the beginning

shared vision

or swan song

just as easily

when views

don’t align

don’t meet

not even

half-way.

~~~

 

Mark (old-toe) Kolke

321,748

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 14 Comments

 

June 14 - ON THE SPOT – I admire you so much for all that you do and all that you give us readers, SY, Honolulu, HI

ON THE SPOT - Monday June 14, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 10C/50F, clear, strong overnight breezes continue . . . they’ll bring rain later; a quiet start to the week, grass clippings in the front, hay yet to be cut in the back, front step littered with newspapers begging me to read – Gusta acting grumpy because her food ration is cut back (we both need to lose some weight).

 

A place - a sense of place, is a design term – what architects try to create; where we have a sense of belonging. This term is used in the context of members of the public having a collective feeling.

 

A chuckle last night; I said I have an excess of candor - someone dear to me laughed with me . . . so, I suppose I suffer from that condition. I struggle less these days to describe the place that I am, the place that I seek, the state of being that brings me a sense of peace and of place.  Each of us needs to find our own version of this home-place - akin to a baseball player finding home plate; where all things begin, where they all end.  It has nothing to do with trips or plane tickets, bags or baggage . . . like the bread that needs to be kneaded just the right way.

 

But this sense of place has different meaning for me – it means feeling we are in the right place – whether that is this spot on the planet or with someone or in some situation; but having a sense we are where we are on purpose, deliberately standing our ground for some purpose beyond our own petty needs.

 

Voraciously we should attack life, in pursuit of this feeling, like we are a wind in a hurry, to get where we are going – and the best way we get up to speed, is by standing firm right where we are, enjoying that sense of place.

 

And getting to that place – enjoying that place – requires that we first of all, know what/where it is within us so that we can clearly stake our claim on the spot.

 

~~~

‘NUFF SAID - archived poetry

 

What is it

today

that

causes me

to leave

to go

to stay

to say –

that which

must be

said in

brevity

without

levity;

what

is it we

need hear

that says

it clear

says it now

tells it how

it must be,

must not be

to say ‘hey,

don’t stay –

just go, go

now, go

fast, go

hard, go

away

stay away

from me’,

because

there is

no way

to say or

stay, no

matter how

much I

play with

boundaries

or with my

tolerance

for that

which is

not OK

for me

any longer,

OK?

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,772

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 13 Comments

 

June 13 - estúpido orgullo – YOU should be a shrink/counselor...as I am sure you have influenced so many people with your input.  I am appreciative of your bluntness...knee-jerk reaction is OK. .it communicates well, You have a GIFT--a wide range of emotions which you so freely express in your musings.  Studies have been done that people who dare to express themselves, live longer lives...so keep doing what you do..it is OK to just be YOU!  SY, Honolulu, HI

estúpido orgullo - Sunday June 13, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

[note about music/video links – I find on Saturday and Sunday mornings I have time, and perhaps my readers do to, to listen to some music. I choose pieces I like that connect, in some way, to the subject matter or to my mood… hope you like them]

 

Morning walk: 10C/50F, clear, calm – gorgeous day following a gorgeous day, so great to have two in a row . . .lawnmowers humming, in the distance, like tires on Deerfoot do, our path was rife with little dogs including a rude old woman with a herd of aging Shelties who managed neither a hello or nod . . .

 

Today’s music selections: Don't Know Why, Somos Novios, Blackbird, Kind and Generous , Verdi Cries , So Young, Mockingbird , Ordinary Miracle , Great Balls Of Fire and Hurt …  best enjoyed with a toasted bagel, cream cheese, tomato slices, lots of pepper and accompanied by steaming black coffee ….

 

If we know someone, new or old - friend, colleague or family member - what kinds of behavior, attitude or way of treating us/others is just TOO MUCH to tolerate, too much to consider carrying on with?  I’ve made those judgments, regretted few – but sometimes that cuts us off from a connection we really miss. I’ve done this sometimes; one or two I regret – you know, the ones I’d like back.

 

Yesterday, on the other hand, was different. I was reminded of my ‘non-negotiable deal-breakers’ - reacted quickly, rudely, badly – absolutely clear, that someone is not for me, not for knowing, not for anything. Knowing that, I suppose I should be more tolerant of people who don’t like me . . . and just acknowledge their rejection.

 

I am reminded of times when knee-jerk was me-jerk (still is sometimes….), when those bridges burned were truly blown up – some because they deserved it, some because things were not that dire except they sure seemed that way in their moment; times when the most severe problem held no candle to pain or death or silence . . . and yet the magnitude seemed so large at that time, in that moment. 

 

Bad as those deeds were, I wish I’d have kept my knee in its socket a little while longer and reacted a little less fast. What to do? 

 

What’s done is done, what’s trashed is trashed, wrecked is wrecked …. you get the picture.  Maybe, in time, wishing for someone to say ‘hoping that time would open another path. Perhaps it has or will’ - because I lacked the ability to shelve my stupid pride (estúpido orgullo). I’m working on that.  Not all that well, but making a little progress.

 

In closing: a note about my bread-making adventure/education; yesterday’s effort is highly edible but I still have a couple of kinks …. loaf shaping and bake time to tweak, so maybe 3^rd time will be the charm, so stay tuned . . .

 

~~~

FRENETIC - archived poetry

 

Captured slices of magic

going out of your way

make someone’s day

not about magic but

about letting ourselves

stumble through

life’s events like a

bouncing pin-ball

seeking out

every flipper

that will propel us

forward, we’re looking

for every opportunity

to avoid the exit chute.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,796

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

June 12 Comments

 

June 12 - BRANCH MANAGER – got to read all of the rest of your poems... smiles here, as I feel wiser now and more centered, while at the same time, I feel happily pushed a tiny bit away from my previous sense of being centered.  So... thank you, once again, for sharing your link. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog, in time, as I now feel like it is a real treat to get to read what you've written...as if I received a special gift.  ...writings from another middle-aged person, single, and beginning again, too, like me, also hoping for great happiness in this paradise known as Hawai'i... but, the treat is that it's all from a man's point of view, GK, Honokaa, HI

BRANCH MANAGER - Saturday June 12, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

[note about music/video links – I find on Saturday and Sunday mornings I have time, and perhaps my readers do to, to listen to some music. I choose pieces I like that connect, in some way, to the subject matter or to my mood… hope you like them]

 

 

Morning walk: 4C/39F, a promising day – grass drying out, Gusta enjoying the sunshine, it will be a lawn-cutting day for me (must assemble new mower first) …

 

Music selections: Laura Pausini .. Non C'è  , Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, Touch Me by the Doors, Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine , Lenny Kravitz - Can't Get you off my Mind , some Sting .. Every Breath You Take and finishing with some classic Peggy Lee … Fever! 

 

I once heard a joke: Q: ‘What do you call a monkey sitting in a tree all day?’, A: ‘A Branch Manager’.

 

The proof of anything is in testing, experimentation – steps to prove what something is not, is the way scientists confirm (or try to) that something is true, real and in keeping with some theory or formula. Testing continues until a theory is disproved - then they start over.

 

I made a scribbled note .. something for this column; last night I did it after reading some wild poetry.  But I mis-typed /  mis-spelled it.

 

Branches form the tree.  I meant to type branches from the tree.

 

Easy to fix, right?  Hold it …. ‘branches form the tree’, maybe that is how it should be.

 

In my attempt to focus my thinking, meaning to say branches from the tree – my thought connected to images I saw yesterday. How diverse the directions/connections are, the ones we make in life, when so many possibilities are considered, it is totally random.

 

Consider my typo for a minute – the branches form the tree. 

 

Without branches, a tree is just a trunk, and it would never grow to be anything without its leaves and those leaves live on the branches.  Critters and birds – they don’t live on the trunk, they live on the branches.  Photos of beautiful trees are about leaves and branches, not trunks.

 

I like my typo.

 

It has me thinking about possibilities, to meaning-change when we chop words or mistype them, much as we would mis-read our expectations when we mis-type people.

 

But back to my branches.

 

Is life about more than branches, or less?

 

Our bodies, and our lives too, I suppose could be likened to the tree trunk and its branches; we reach out, stretch out and go out into the world …. from that stretching come ideas, actions, adventures and experiences unique to our life, unconnected to our family tree or our parents who originated us. 

 

On this day, in 1923, baby born – little girl tree, Norwegian/Swedish cross pollinated,  more shrub than a seedling tree. She lived, grew up, met and married my dad.  They added one branch to the tree, me.  I’ve added two.

 

The branches form the tree; maybe that is how it should be.

 

~~~

POEM - archived poetry

 

AWAKE WAITING

 

I

am

alive

not much

more really

matters for

I know I need

remind myself

there is blue sky

above, beyond those

clouds, always there, even

on darkest of nights, sometimes

to be seen by straining the eyes

or by taking a new vantage point or

by simply waiting for the imagination

of experiences yet unlived to come true

but only because they weren’t left undreamed.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,820

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 11 Comments

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE – the throat tickle - My response is denial, denial,  denial.  I call it something it clearly is not. and then  ---- It  takes over, the aches make denial impossible, so I do the only think left, I succumb, I submit to the viral invasion in my body. For a normal person, it would be time for rest, cozy, restorative rest, warm broth and mindless television.. you, will probably work even harder until your body revolts and takes over your day.  and then, only then, you sleep for 18 hours.  Hope your feel better soon, FO, Kaunakakai, HI … ps: thanks for today's musing.  so true, so true.

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE - I enjoyed this mornings column. The analogy of buying /selling a home compared to starttng/finishing a relationship does have many similarities. Must get back to work.....however I will be pondering over your words once again. How has your week been? Sounds like it was quite hectic. Later, PE, Calgary, AB

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE - Interesting!  Didn't we talk about profiles and I said "ya just never know till you meet eyeball to eyeball"?  Sort of like thumbing through a catalog and you see a wonderful dress, rug, shirt, whatever. You go to the store to buy it (whatever) and doesn't fit, colors are off, didn't look like you thought it would.  Your analogy is similar but not the same.  A house has no feelings.....the person brings the house, the dress, the rug, the shirt, the whatever to life.  It's a one-sided proposition unless of course you are the sales rep! What a way with words you have, SK, Dallas, TX

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE - Good morning Mark, thank you for the call yesterday, I was busy at work and not able to pick up the phone.  Ahhhh, yes the Blackhawks, how they did us proud.  Today there will be a parade and quite a party downtown for the Cup winners 49 years in the waiting.  Chicago loves their teams even though it is rare that we get a winner.  Everyone has been following the games even those that never watched hockey before. I have been reading your musings every day, however just haven't had much to say.  I am having a rather rough time, worse than I ever thought with being alone.  Ever since my daughter moved I have been unsettled, it seems to be getting worse with time.  I have made an appointment with a therapist so that hopefully I can work through this.  I am usually a very strong person but I think my menopausal hormones are getting the best of me along with so many worthless first dates.  Have stopped the dates for now.  I am happy for you that you think you are interested in someone, I hope you will find your love and that she will find you. I'm sorry that I am on the depressing side right now that is why I haven't bothered you, I tend to stay by myself so as not to burden anyone when I am like this, it is just my way.  I think of you everyday when I read your column, MM, Arlington Heights, IL

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE - Surprised to see some of my ramblings yesterday ended up in your musings.. fortunately edited. Guess I need to be aware that anything I email can show up there!  These were just spontaneous thoughts I felt like sharing and thought appropriate to YOU.  I really liked your expressing in the "Thought" section, "A galaxy of beauty in unlived imagination." The goal is to morph these unlived imaginations to those lived.  To me, dreams are the spice of life and when they become " real", that  is the prize. SY, Honolulu, HI

 

June 10 - WILD HORSES - ...Could look at it as... not "another failed attempt" . Instead... another "opportunity to experience", DG, Edmonton, AB

 

June 11 - HOME-FREE - Aloha Mark!  We met, via "plentyoffish.com; We both agreed that I was not...and, am not the 'woman that you want,  for romantic purposes...and, nor, are you, the 'man that I have been searching for' since 1981...however, I have continued to try to follow your musing ways, which I sometimes find amusing...and, sometimes quite depressing...and, I was already quite depressed from watching my own son, Mark, 'die' from kidney cancer...however, wanted to move on, with my own life; and had just viewed a profile of a man, more like the man that I have been searching for...so, I joined Plentyoffish...to communicate and search all over America...and, it turns out, Canada, as well...and, found you...and, liked your profile...except that I want an older and more mature man, who will appreciate me, just as I am. I forward your musing to my other email address where I can read it with ease, So...I just re-signed up to receive your musings, and, YOUR WONDERFUL SELECTION OF MUSIC VIDEO CHOICES...AND, WILL 'UNSUBSCRIBE' MY YAHOO ADDRESS, AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR MUSING DIRECT TO MY OTHER ADDRESS. SO...FOR NOW...I WISH YOU SWEET DREAMS, AND BEST WISHES N FINDING THE SOULMATE, WHO WILL 'RING YOUR CHIMES'; AND, WANT TO TURN YOU EVERY WAY, BUT LOOSE.  OF COURSE, I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT HER LONG ENOUGH...AND, WILL HAVE LEARNED ENOUGH ABOUT YOURSELF TO REALLY APPRECIATE AND LOVE HER, JUST AS SHE IS...AS YOU WANT HER TO FEEL ABOUT YOU... WHICH IS WHAT I AM STILL LOOKING FOR...FOR STARTERS, IN THE MAN THAT WILL 'RING MY CHIMES! , SM, Hawaii  …PS: take lots of vitamin C... and get lots of rest and drink lots of water, besides, trying to  make an appointment with your doctor, if you don't feel reMARKably better, over the weekend.

 

HOME-FREE - Friday June 11, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 4C/39F, light breeze, overcast seems to be breaking up, Gusta was busy lunging to meet dogs and their owners as well as bus-stop waiters while I reigned hard but only grunted hello … my voice not working; sniffle/tickle was my warning, throat seized up, glands swollen - everything hurts between shoulders and skull except if I chew, drink or swallow - then it hurts more. 

 

If I talk less and write more, the day will go faster . . .

 

Home, house, residence, home-base, physical structure, household – well removed from home-page, home-plate or homing in on targets. Consider the metaphor convergence of selling a house and marketing ourselves.

 

The reality that so often we don’t own a home, but rather it owns us.  The responsibilities, tasks and obligations are daunting. One sold, those are gone. Always masterful we hope, those attempts, when we (the collective we) sell houses we live in - to leave them completely behind us on closing day, just that box and site it sits on, morphing to where we ‘used to live’. Left behind. Part joy, part sad. Over. Done.  But, then we (the collective we) buy another. Where’s your next stop?

 

This is a lot like relationships, don’t you think? When we are marketing, we want to portray images (or inspire purchaser’s imagination) of how splendid life could be there.

 

In part, we want a fast sale at the best price, but also because we (the collective we) want to show off quality, craftsmanship, pride of ownership, the walls and floors, great design and room layout - in best fashion possible to appeal, to potential buyers; as if buying the property is buying-into-the life of the person(s) who live there.

 

I’ve been in the real estate and mortgage industry for over thirty years now; my sense is that when we sell, we sell bricks and mortar, but when we buy, we buy a dream.  We buy an impression of what life will be like – or how it will change, if only we could live there, or live this way or that.  In relationships, it is much the same.

 

Lives are more complex than a home filled with furniture, treasures and just plain stuff – these things prove someone lives there. Represented on a virtual tour, they envelop us as rooms and floors, life captured in memories of times we had there, pictures on walls and sticks of furniture whose sentimental value far outweighs their purchase price – but put on display to inspire someone new, to imagine the good times they will have there.

 

If we showed our lives the way realtors show a house - we’d see a panorama of our lives, wouldn’t we? We’d see what it is like to take up residence ‘in us’, to inhabit our environs, ‘our stuff’ and our memories.  These things live wherever we are – we pack the best parts when we move on. Some we get rid of too - some for the garage sale – some we give away, some we dispose of in the garage-sale, and some we ‘just forgot to move’.  

 

Surely, those pictures would show a tidy place – the piled newspapers half-read, dishes in the sink awaiting transfer to the dishwasher and the dust-bunnies under the couch  - those would be eliminated before the shutter clicked.  But would what is left be a true representation of reality – or just our possessions, propped by fantasy, that things are always neat and tidy?  The challenge to ‘show well’ while maintaining authenticity!

 

My point, and I have one, is that we look, wisely or perhaps not, at relationships we contemplate with people much as we contemplate a home purchase.  We see a person in the best light, as they’ve chosen to portray/market themselves.  We see a panorama/virtual tour of their life – storytelling, photo albums, things and rooms they inhabit, the always tidy place, the attention (or not) to details that are important to us or to them.

 

The question, to stay with my point, is whether I am offering up to the universe the person I am, or the person I’d like some woman, to see - in me, potential partner, to believe what is truly and openly shown - so that, when she picks me and moves into my life, she won’t suffer buyer’s remorse when she learns some rooms just can’t be renovated, some things must stay . . . some must go.  A house isn’t a box. It’s a home. A life isn’t a set of facts and list of chattels, but rather it is our life-structure, as surely as any habitat we choose.

 

Then, we’ll all be home-free, won’t we?

 

~~~

MATTER OR MIND - archived poetry

 

Logical thinking

so unconnected to

emotional feeling

our approaches

each affected

by the other’s;

if it’s unexpected

or improbable, we

do it anyway with

no regard to right way

or public-good

but rather we tend to

do the ‘I want thing’

instead of the

‘I don’t want’ thing.

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,844

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

June 10 Comments

 

June 10 - WILD HORSES - Really liked your musing today.  This week, I had dinner with two fellows I hadn't seen since 6th grade.  We were 12 years old yesterday and purely liked each other.  At 60, yesterday, we so purely had fun and still relished each others' company.   So, your writing,  "When we are luckiest, someone who loves us as purely as we love them, pulls up next to us, travels in the next lane for a while.", made me feel outrageously lucky.  Thanks!  I feel it's kind of that way for you and me.  Go forward, my friend, and be extraordinarily pure!, VJP, DeWinton, AB

 

June 10 - WILD HORSES – Because you have so many followers..... have a special story to share.  8 years ago, a good friend and co-worker was thrown from his horse when it shied from a cardboard box next to the riding path.  Norm broke his neck, becoming a quadriplegic.  We kept him as busy as we were able to, so he continued to work on special projects for us, strapping a pencil to his hand to write or to type on a computer.  When speech recognition software was installed on his computer, he used it often but didn’t take the pencil off his hand until the end of his day.  About three years ago, after hearing about a special research project undertaken by a medical research facility in Houston and with the help of our staff, he traveled down to Texas to undergo testing and training to see if his muscles might be able to remember how to walk in spite of the damage to his spine/nervous system.  He often sent us updates on how he was doing and one day we were able to watch a video of him walking in a swimming pool with a walker.  Two years ago, just before he moved away from Calgary, we gathered to say farewell to him and were thrilled to see him leave his motorized wheelchair to stand behind a chair.  Today, during a visit to Calgary from his home outside of Victoria, he stopped by to meet about the latest work project.  He said that about a month ago, after a rigorous exercise regime performed while watching CSI, he felt compelled to try to walk.  He said he knows he’s not supposed to be able to, but thought he’d give it a try.  Then, this afternoon - here, he stood up and walked, with the help of a walker. For us, that was even more incredible than Crosby’s gold medal goal at the Olympics or watching children learn how to play together on a team.  Here’s a man who never gave up, even though he was told by countless medical experts that he’d never walk.  His muscles did remember how and, while the walks are short right now, his spirit is very tall and he’ll build on what he’s doing each day.  His comment was that it was a thrill to be able to look at the top of our heads again (he’s about 6’2” tall standing). Way to go, Norm!!!!!.....an inspiration for everyone.  BELIEVE!, JW, Cochrane/Calgary, AB

 

June 10 - WILD HORSES - Just headed out for a few hours of kayaking...the surf is up so thought I'd catch a few waves...it's a tough life here in Hawaii!  Have been enjoying your recent musings. There is a concept re. "The actualization of Change" ..that timing is important, preparation, and mostly the realization that it's needed...seems you always seem to be at a crossroads to go here or there.  BUT  as I ended my own New Year's poem to my clients this year  "so plan your days yet to come, but do not be impatient, for dreams that come forever true take their time to fruition.", SY, Honolulu, HI

 

June 10 - WILD HORSES - Me and technology do not always get along.  I have not been able to connect to the wireless internet of my landlord's all week and finally I was able to do so.  I feel much better.  Just got through reading  your Musing for today even though my day is almost gone. Being able to acknowledge my path is being true to myself.  Sometimes I drift off the path only to feel discomfort.  But, I choose to stay  on a path of truth and growth.  Growing and being comfortable with myself will hopefully lead me to someone I truly connect with -  the essence of me meeting the essence of you.  I know it when I feel it,  now I just want to be able to sustain it.  So, until then, thank God I am comfortable with me!! So, I've missed you my friend, but I am back!!, JK, Kailua, HI

WILD HORSES - Thursday June 10, 2010

 

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 5C/41F, overcast-gloomy, yesterday’s steady rain left this city chilled, another day of drizzle to come . . Gusta loving the wet grass that seems to enhance smells and her desire to meet a hard-pulling little Pug

 

When sad, glad or over the top with giddy-happy in my giddy-up – there are days for reflecting, some for wishing others well, some for accepting the well wishes of others.  This week - combo of that - perplexed, amazed, mulling. Someone has my attention, again, still, confusing new adventure. I wouldn’t trade this feeling of confusion and anticipation – not knowing. Early days - new ideas, new adventures; on top of that, I am extremely busy …. so when my head is not on a pillow, it has been pressed against a grindstone this week.  I could paint that busy maze . . .

 

This morning I write for/about a friend; two actually, very different scenarios, but these words fit my thoughts for each/both. For SC and LG and anyone else trying to throw a rope around great love and reign in those wild horses of desire, passion and dreams on the big ranch of adventure, may you find your peace and joy in the house of the sun:

 

We can love people - up close, from afar, for a while, or forever - but that is always a one-way street of singular effort. Whether someone loves us back, loves us in anything remotely resembling the same way is unlikely, rare and curious. People love us because they do – and they do it their way; sometimes we know they do, sometimes they are people we don't even know, but they love us just the same. Just as you acknowledge his path, don't YOU need to acknowledge YOUR path?  Reading the lines, between the lines and interpreting what is meant, what is felt is the juiciest/scariest part of life and romance.

 

Following our own path is often a lonely AND solitary trip - but one we must take. When we are luckiest, someone who loves us as purely as we love them, pulls up next to us, travels in the next lane for a while. Sometimes for a long while.

 

That's nice. Not solution to any of our own problems or issues, but really nice. Sometimes we bump into them at the breakfast table too, but often not there, or anywhere. We all wander, that's our nature; we just need to make sure the WE aren't lost, that WE know where WE are .... and others have that responsibility to themselves. They owe us nothing. We owe them nothing. We owe ourselves the self-love that says 'my way is OK, I am OK, I will be OK .. my way'.

 

People come/go; or need to go away from us before they return. Some take away more than they leave; more often, that which slips away pales when measured against what they bring to us, or leave behind when they move along to find what they seek or when they release us, free us, to move along our own path ourselves.  If our paths intersect or run parallel that’s an exceptional bonus – otherwise, we are just so fortunate when paths cross, when collisions happen.  Like those atoms in a laboratory, we are humans on a global super-collider where the best reactions happen when our best elements smash into each other.

~~~

STARTING  - archived poetry

 

Success

looks

new

shiny

exciting

requires

time

energy

commitment

clear

sense

of

self

crazy

desire

to

see

it

through,

otherwise

just

another

failed

attempt.

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,868

 

 

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 9 Comments

 

June 9 - ODD AUDEN MORNING – So truly expressed - ‘Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them can make me laugh.’  I thought it was uniquely my gauging marker of “love”.  What a small and simple blessing to ask for? But so significantly meaningful.  I hugely value the gift of  loving and loved family members……………and await “faith-filled” for the next person who will walk my path……..not only hand in hand…….but laughing heartily along the way.  The life’s lessons to date have shown that the bond we create “laughing” together sustains through the tears.  And if we believe so fully in the bonds that connect across the miles, then the most natural extension is to be believe in the bonds across the chasm between heaven and earth, LAR, Winnipeg, MB

 

June 9 - ODD AUDEN MORNING - To knead or not to knead: Check out this Globe and Mail article "To knead or not to knead: the great bread debate"  the great bread debate http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/to-knead-or-not-to-knead-the-great-bread-debate/article1596914/

 

June 9 - ODD AUDEN MORNING - Thank you for sending  the link to your site.  You are talented, Sincerely, SK, Dallas, TX

 

ODD'N AUDEN MORNING - Wednesday June 9, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 9C/48F, overcast from horizon to horizon like a monster map waiting for roads to be penciled in, Gusta wagging, loved dragging her belly in the tall grass left damp from last night’s shower; one bull dog sighting at a distance, the ducks and blackbirds were only murmuring as if they knew some big secret.

 

We look deep into close friends and total strangers – straining to gauge the depth of them, to see around the nooks, in the crannies, explore the gorges and coolies, as if everyone was a landscape of hill country . . . elusive, mysterious, but appearing wide open to view; instead, we should look at their face, the answers are all there.

 

W.H. Auden wrote: ‘In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.’

 

There is no normalcy to me, no common or usual.  No rushing the flow if - for want, it wants to go slow – as it should, but often I find normal paces, or paced slowness not for me; impatience presses me forward. A feeling I am a disturbed bull in life’s china shop. Sometimes the china shop has a sign outside – ‘no bull allowed in here’ – the way some people do, you know, smile sweetly, say the nicest things, so not to reveal impenetrable walls hidden from my view by beguiling charm.

 

I don’t see possibilities as problems, risks or improbabilities, but opportunity to be mounted like a bull and then ridden like a bull in some grand arena for at least eight seconds.

 

I’ll close with another Auden quote I like, not so much for the writing but for the truths it holds: ‘Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them can make me laugh.’

 

When we are closest to someone, so close we know their feelings, joys, fears and failings …though thousands of miles away, like they went away and left only silence behind.  We meet by chance, affect the other in ways that no plan could have imagined, bonds grow – in time, they’ve become unbreakable ones that connect and hold together like those big steel bands around ocean going crates . . .

 

~~~

Inspiration for today’s poem derived from conversations with an old friend, a new friend and a maybe friend yesterday – some whimsical word play on real play, real feelings and real people who each, in their own way, touched me yesterday . . .

 

TOUCH ME AGAIN - archived poetry

 

Their stories touched me yesterday,

of serious interest, but of course

‘new beginning' perspective . .  try

to be nice; OK, wanting to leap

from start to idyllic next morning

feeling, floating, wondering what occurred –

was it real or just a wish? -  when

big smiles, permanent kind, holding

‘real thing’ proof, not a Xerox copy

too much or too little, first desire

to rush, there’s more to it than

floating on feeling; so go back

to beginning where there was man

there was woman – meeting, then dating

working, creating at on each new sage stage

left wiser, yet trying to figure how to

make same time next year’ morph into

‘same time tomorrow’ because possibilities

that me 'n you kind will crash on rocks

before we set sail is easy to avoid if we

simply say something other than Yes!!!!!!!

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,892

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 8 Comments

 

June 8 - NOT EXACTLY - As you say, maybe not exact, not quite, not perfect is the doorway to things and people and life much more wonderful than we imagine. Getting stuck in a vision of who/what/where I want might result in a life passing me by.  I hope your opportunity delights and surprises and brings you joy, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

June 8 - NOT EXACTLY – ‘One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.’  ~Sidney Howard , JW, Cochrane/Calgary, AB

NOT EXACTLY - Tuesday June 8, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 7C/45F, après-rain sunshine, wet grass and cool breeze – two phone calls to run down my phone battery (Gusta seems more relaxed when I am paying attention to my call than to where she is sniffing for adventure) . . .

 

The first offer, is often the best offer; this shop-worn cliché from real estate business extends, I believe, to many elements of life and merits attention. It doesn’t fit everything, but stay with me on this -

 

When someone says ‘how about if ______’ , or, ‘I was wondering if you would like to _____’, or ‘come on down’, there are moments to not pause so much, not think too much, but to just say ‘sure, I’ll give that a try’.  Moments for action, saying YES to opportunities, saying YES to whatever the results may be, taking a chance on something or someone who wants to take a chance on you.  Results surprise, every time. 

 

Ask yourself, do I have my life, or does it have me?  My answer: not exactly.

 

Some recent ‘putting it out there’ statements, direct questions and ‘asking for what I want’ have shown me what I want might await me, be available to me for simply saying ‘OK, lets try this’ more often, without an expectation that some perfectly packaged solution will arrive.

 

Someone made an offer to me recently; one I’m seriously considering … subject to scheduling and budget.  It didn’t start out as much.  It might not change my life, but it might.  It’s not EXACTLY what I’ve been asking the universe for, but it might be a very interesting rich opportunity that comes closer than many other notions I’ve considered. What if I don’t venture out to take that chance?   Or, what if I do?  Maybe a changed approach will change the answers.

 

Instead of my blinkers-on focus, I could be looking in ‘generally’ the right place, ask ‘generally’ the right question and I could have been getting a result that generally fits my wants/needs/dreams.

 

Hard to believe?  Yes, it is. 

 

We school ourselves to believe results we want require hard work, struggle and cleverness – that the goodies, the goals, the fruits of our labor – do not come easily.  Not to say those virtues are not key components in our lives, or who we are, but consider that sometimes we just need to ask . . .

 

Consider dropping the notion that living a life ‘on purpose’ in favor of living it by accident; I don’t mean aimlessly, but I mean ‘more openly’. Open to this, open to that, open to _______ (fill in blank with something outrageous).  Get the picture?

 

The notion that good things come either way is difficult to grasp.  Deliberateness of planning, strategy and execution makes so much sense. But so do chance, randomness and spontaneity.  The answer, it would seem, is that a mix of both is found in our best ideas, best work and best experiences.  For now, I’m considering that I’ve underestimated the random/spontaneous ‘take a chance’ elements – and my efforts to add that to my balance are unfolding …… stay tuned. I’m looking forward to a hot summer.

 

~~~

MY POINT - archived poetry

 

Piece by piece

things take shape

step after step

stage upon stage

idea layered on idea

genuine facts

woven with those

imaginary themes,

dreams, for perfect

paragraphs to explain

using sentences to tell,

words that punch –

conversations upon

conversations, hints

upon hints,

innuendo piled

on top of innuendo

without proof

upon proof that

what is real,

is.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,920

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 7 Comments

 

June 7 - FRESH DRIVE – Please thank SY from Honolulu for the link to Buddhism defined. Maybe I'm actually a closet Buddhist too, even though I have a Protestant background, but don't adhere to the dogma. I've always enjoyed reading Reflections from Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh.  This link was a very concise, simple overview of the philosophy, which is compatible with any other tradition. I also checked out the 'Write Spa" link from WE, since I'm an aspiring writer. Sorry Mark...got nuttin' for you, other than 'get thee to Maui'. SW Coeur d'Alene, ID 

 

FRESH DRIVE - Monday June 7, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 9C/48F, more blue than cloud, light breezy; fence-builders, planter-installers, planting-bushes types - really outdid themselves. We observed their handiwork on our trip down to the lagoon this morning, something we’d not seen last night.

 

My week start mixes a little dread (more than one-week’s work to do), adventure (new people to meet, fresh ideas to explore) and fresh drive (something that’s been missing in action lately). 

 

‘The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.’ – M. Scott Peck

 

Last night (walking Gusta about 2:30AM). Just a couple blocks away, walking path in the near pitch dark, I found amazing feelings out there, so still, silently surreal - mix of time/day and atmosphere, I couldn’t hear traffic on Deerfoot.

 

No sound came from houses we walked by, hundreds, absolute darkness - just one had lights on (tempted to ring the bell just to see if there was a kindred spirit inside) …. where the business of the week just HAD to start early (or finish very late), as did mine.

 

I wonder. Maybe next time I’ll ring . . .

 

Outcome of this week will be what I design, what I shape, what I create and what I react to. I wouldn’t want it any other way - that’s the truth, whether I try or not. But will that be instructive at all?

 

Passed, and over, no logic connects us to it - the past is over. Fresh drive takes my over each hill, around bends and swiftly down hills. Fresh drive is like fresh ground pepper, it spices things up.

 

Life is neither lemons or lemon-aid; life is lemon pie . . . with meringue.

 

~~~

THAT CALL FROM YOU - archived poetry

Crossing roads, paths intersecting

sharp angles at high speed

has not hurt me much

not taken life or limb

when I slipped, or fell – got

distracted so many times

crossing from this side to that

other place of being

not expecting the unexpected

would rush me but it seems

to always find me – get me there

yet through it all, I’ve just to sprint

across roads, avoiding crashes

while disasters missed me

or maybe it was me missing them,

without losing head or my load

has been, for me, mother-lode

of life’s big prize, great joy

knowing there is something

right about this, reason for going

without thought of stopping

this ride inside is meant for that.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,944

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 6 Comments

 

June 6 - KNEADING TACT – A while back I had this idea of creating a writing oasis, a place where writers can meet and rest. I started writing some musings and collecting writing practices. My hope was that the exercises, experiences, and encouragement I offered would nourish and revitalize peoples' relationship with writing. My weekly “WriteSpa – an Oasis for Writers" is a short three-part letter that consists of a using, a fun writing practice, and a few more of my ‘daily happinesses’ that you may have come across in another venue. I hope you’ll consider subscribing to it, and that you’ll comment and respond if you’d like to, and it will be another way we can keep in touch. Here’s the link to the page http://winsloweliot.com/books-and-articles/
 where you can sign up, and also where you can peruse past issues: I should add this important note: we’re ALL writers. “If you can walk you can dance, if you can speak, you can write…” I’ve had responses from many subscribers who told me that these musings and practices have given them intriguing insights into themselves, even those who did not consider themselves ‘writers.’, WE,

June 6 - KNEADING TACT - don't lose the motivation. practice the push plan...try for 4 days/week push water.. and walking, AS, Santa Monica, CA

June 6 - KNEADING TACT - Have you not sent your colomn out yet? If so I haven't received it. Hope you day is going well, PE, Calgary, AB

 

June 6 - KNEADING TACT - I know you are not "religious" but this article http://www.spiritualwealth.com/2010/06/04/a-path-to-personal-freedom/ re. Buddhism is very, very interesting...describing this as a philosophy, a code of ethics, a way of life....which if you delve into the "Noble Eightfold Path" outlined, it somewhat seems to match your path, IMHO. Maybe you are a "closet Buddhist"! , SY Honolulu, HI