today’s Musing written and published from
Morning walk: 8C/46F, overcast, steady breeze, drizzling; drying Gusta after our romp was a job more fit for a car-wash style dryer than a man with a towel . . . the paths were empty except for a solitary jogger ill dressed for the occasion getting as soggy as Gusta did.
Sometimes we can convey so much without saying anything at all. But, most of the time, for most of us, we need the words. Here are some famous last words to give you smile, or a chuckle, or a deep reflection:
Pancho Villa’s last: ‘Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.’
Voltaire’s last (on his deathbed, asked to forswear Satan): "This is no time to make new enemies."
When we think of last words - often associated with death or loss – that view could dominate this subject, but just as easily we impact everyone around us with our choice of first words in any conversation and the last words of it too – because we never know if we’ll have another. Sometimes the reason we never have another is because we shut the door on any further talk because of the last words we spoke . . . or failed to.
My first words. And, my last words . . .
I’ve had last words, final words and ‘ending words’ with a number of people lately; not deaths, but endings whose time had come. As well, given the death of two friends in the last year, I’ve pondered my last conversations with them. One, I remember so very well. The other, I don’t recall at all because it has been so long since we’d talked – a mistake I regret. If I could wake them up, I’d say lots I never said before.
This is not about missing them or deep regret at something not said to someone dear, but remembering how fragile life is, how delicate our connections with others can be sometimes – when an off-hand remark or failure to listen to the message within their words, cuts off an opportunity to explore important issues and do some real learning.
The pace of life easily excuses these things – you know, taking time to call an old friend, or using the time for a conversation we might otherwise miss the chance to have. Considered on those terms, the urgency of a meeting, the pressing deadline, the daily list of ‘must-do items’ suddenly doesn’t seem so important.
Maybe, when we talk, to someone we know – just before we end it – we should shake hands, look them in the eye and tell them we appreciate them, that we have valued the time we spent talking with them. With strangers, maybe we should do the same, but maybe invest even more time to better appreciate what we might be missing if we don’t see or talk to them again. They are perfect . . . our first words are just the beginning, so I should make sure they are not our last.
Last words can open a cornucopia of experience and knowing . . . or could be just a lost(perhaps spectacular) opportunity. Choose, whichever you wish, but in that choosing, recognize you forever lose the other.
There is always time to make new friends, just as there is time to avoid making new enemies.
~~~
FEED ME - archived poetry
Hunger pangs
like anxiety,
drive any thought
worth having
right off my screen;
food not seen
in tangible sense,
in dreamy vision or
creamy hallucination –
food – vivid imagination
being fed because
we must eat
be sustained
must eat well
to feel well
eat gloriously
to feel glorious
but it’s not about
consumption or
sustenance of life
as much
as it is about
relishing the
joy of it, just
as fun is
and was
best condiment
when you
feed me best
you let me
eat you up.
~~~
Mark Kolke
322,208
RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com
May 26 Comments
May 26 – FOR GOODNESS SAKE – I read 'The Girl Who Played With Fire', also featuring Lisbeth Salander, a few weeks ago. Steig Larsson is one of the most incredibly fascinating, exciting and meticulous writers I've ever had the pleasure to read. Enjoy!, VJP,
May 26 – FOR GOODNESS SAKE – Three directions at once. That defines me. I have to really focus to stay on one track. I have so much energy that my friends say they can't keep up with me. I am sure there is some biochemical reason for this, but I'll just be grateful that I have energy to do the things I need to do and want to do (and the things other people pay me to do). I have energy to do the same old thing over and over, but don't you dare call me insane! So, how do I move into territory where I do something differently? First of all, I need to understand what I want to change, be willing to do the work and let go of the results. For me, I want different results with the men I am choosing (or those that choose me and I allow in). The work I find I must do to be open to the "one," which does not really mean one because I think there is more than one, is to practice celibacy. No, this is not my preference, but to do so allows me to really get to know someone first. Read the lyrics to the Shins' The Celebate Life ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBbOhOMIQ18 ). Do you want to reconsider your "two-night minimum?", JK,
May 26 – FOR GOODNESS SAKE – Another interesting poem, visually mirroring your descending message. FO,
May 26 – FOR GOODNESS SAKE – What's up with you? I have little time to talk-- Crazy busy these past 24 hours, & so much happened. Miraculous! Just now got to your morning musings... your reflections make me smile. Enjoy your day, Mark, Aloha hugs, PF,
May 26 – FOR GOODNESS SAKE – You speak of our having no limitation regarding the paths we take, and it seems that your writing style references daily "life at a crossroad." JW's response yesterday was SO INSIGHTFUL and I might add that you should "follow your heart" to find your direction as this normally leads best to the "Truth". Crossroads are good...they are choices...just following your heart for the direction to take often works better than all the exhaustive analysis you so often reference. SY,
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