today’s Musing written and published from
[note about music/video links – I find on Saturday and Sunday mornings I have time, and perhaps my readers do to, to listen to some music. I choose pieces I like that connect, in some way, to the subject matter or to my mood… hope you like them]
Morning walk: 2C/36F, yesterday’s soggy snow blanket lays on everything – doing the slow melt – so golf is definitely off; trails were empty quiet tunnels – while a field where hoards of tikes in numbered soccer shirts played yesterday to cheers of chilled parents and grandparents lay quiet this morning, its snow inviting wear, and sunshine, but neither came; though Gusta enjoyed all that cool wet on her belly.
Yesterday – reminders were needed – a friend to tell me NO when I wanted YES, looking for validation of how I was feeling, and I needed to be told I was full of it as well as full of myself; when that test happens - only best friends can do it - then, to make me belly laugh at my own stupidity, takes the best kind of friend. Thanks SB!
At my age when playful youth is revisited – then countered by serious approach, not wanting to do things wasteful or frivolous because too much time has already been lost, forgotten and downright wasted - fearing waste of any more through poor choices.
Still, excitement of feeling much younger and more alive than my life and style should afford me – once again - gives great joy, if only snippets a day here, an hour there – but so worth waiting for, remembering for, waiting for ….
…. then, one day, I’d like to say, ‘I’ve met my match, my equal, my love for life’, but the more I think and search and consider, seeking all that might be just too greedy. I have incredible people and yesterday memories in my life, so how, how on earth could I expect to find anything better than that? … yet I keep searching, hopeful, rising for the dust of defeat to try again, the right mix might show up ASAP … whatever that means.
French music, French singers this morning: Edith Piaf’s
I was young, a minute ago; where youth went, innocence spent.
~~~
SOAKING
Openness, to possibilities, less like an open coat but rather more
like a dried sponge, thirsting a good soaking up, of warmth
and knowing, of someone, or a shadow of an idea.
But then, filled up, how can we purge the sponge’s load without
spilling experiences everywhere, with so much to be lost
and impossible to do without spilling memories all over us.
There remains a pain, in the dry sponge’s belly, missing that
which - for just a short time – filled it with warmth and
excitement for enjoying so much, just by wishing it so.
~~~
Mark Kolke
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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: mark@markmusing.com
April 24 Comments
April 24 - ONE BALLOON - I laughed at "Canadian Graffiti for the Boomer set--Middle aged boy chases dream girl...." But, isn't that still how we are inside? I'm teaching a women's workshop for Boomers on Dating and Romance in my small lake resort town. It's amazing how many stories I hear of women past 50 who still deeply want to be that 'dream girl' that a man glimpses briefly while out at the market, or spots walking alone along the lake biking trail. As a single boomer myself, I don't go on my power walk without smelling and looking good, because I never know when a handsome older jogger may stop me to chat, or a biker will ride alongside and admire my smile and life changes instantly. While my life is fantastic right now, with my new business launched, website up, health and weight better than in 10 years, I miss the "one balloon". I'm not in control of that elusive moment of meeting, but I continue to have an attitude of alertness and anticipation that he's just around the next corner. That makes me smile!, SW,
April 24 - ONE BALLOON - I have compassion for your ups and downs as you search. But I have admiration of your optimism and determination. Maybe this week will be your week, FO, Kaunakakai, HI
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