today’s Musing written and published from
Morning walk: 2C/36F, overcast, strong chilly wind rippling Gusta’s ratty half-shed coat, heavy clouds over mountains – but lighter ones over me this morning . . .
The world did not end. Trains in
I try to have empathy for another’s life – especially when figuring out my own seems like a full time job some days. Not most, but some. Some events (or people) help us move - from thing to thing, issue to issue, person to person – catalyst, something added to move the chemical reaction along.
‘You cannot find peace by avoiding life.’ – Virginia Woolf
Some people come to us, enter our lives, or simply breeze by for some reason. So it seems. They don’t tell us which they are going to be on arrival, but time tells, because in time we know. It might be a few days later, years, or decades – there they are, in our lives, smiling back at us – as if we’ve both always known.
Sometime with a drive-by smile, gone so quickly, as if to remind of precious memories (for me, a spectacular dinner at Jack’s Grill comes to mind) in times past; when those memories stir, there is no better reminder that – that the best moments in life may be just around a bend or up some winding road . . or another, or the next.
On another subject, I’ve been trying to re-order my schedule - allow more pure-work time and pure-writing time to, as Frank advised, take myself off the treadmill. I think I’ve found a large component of the time I need to squeeze from each day, but it involves admitting my addiction. Yes, I confess, I’m addicted. No silly, not butterscotch ripple ice-cream, channel surfing, fabulous women (hhhmmm), or public speaking, or writing.
I quit. Well, actually I just cut back, but I quit letting it dominate my day so much. Not sure if I can STAY QUIT, but I’ll try. e-mail, that’s it, my drug of choice - and, like food, this is not something to quit cold turkey or give up completely, though power-failures help.
I tried Sunday, again yesterday – part of my plan to get more efficient with my time; to check e-mail for 5-10 minutes every two hours, and otherwise to run my life and my day without frequent trips to e-mail accounts. After 2 days it feels like kicking 5 addictions at the same time (I’ve found new sympathies for tobacco and drug addicts).
Cutting back to healthier level seems to be the ticket. I’ve set aside certain times on the clock to ‘check and respond’ to email. That seems reasonable and sufficient to get critical things done in timely fashion while allowing long stretches of uninterrupted think/work time. After two days I can report that it is as horrid as any kind of withdrawal I’ve been told about. Today will be better. I don’t have 12 steps or a sponsor, but I know I have it in me . . . and, with support from far and wide, I’ll make a full recovery.
I can’t have everything I want jus now; I can’t give ‘er up – but I have cut back.
~~~
SWIFTLY GONE FROM MY GAZE
Living for some future, some way - that things might be,
I can’t help wondering if I will be better off to live for now,
just to enjoy this moment because this moment is here,
and future has so much yet to answer for!
I see images of what it is like to be for me, that way,
but I can’t stop wondering - that is not the way I see for me to be,
because there is no greater joy to imagine and wish for,
than a ride, all the way, up some winding road . . .
link to archive – The Poetry Project
~~~
Mark Kolke
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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: mark@markmusing.com
April 26 Comments
April 25 - MOI - I have a story for SW in Coeur d'Alene: there was a time not long ago when I was on my own, happy and busy but wanting that last balloon. Then we met and my world is full of sunshine. Three times since we met, I have been approached by men I did not know wondering if I was single (and I am well into my 50's). It is amazing what a difference it makes when you are smiling and looking like you have a wonderful secret that is bursting to get out of you. I concluded that most people are attracted to people with positive energy. My positive energy was always there (my husband, my 'one', says he was attracted to it) but it came bubbling to the surface after I met him. If you can generate that energy before the connection, then you will attract attention. Your smile and the happiness it indicates is so important! Mark, I do wish for you the joy and comfort that I have found - it is worth the wait/attitude/effort/whatever it takes . . . AR,
April 25 - MOI - Didn’t get your Musings Saturday and Sunday…wasn’t near a computer to go to the website to read them. Got here this morning and found them in another file that I cannot access from my Blackberry. It’s interesting, because I hadn’t changed the destination of Musings on Friday. Anyways, they’ll arrive again as they should and I’ve caught up on what I missed. In response to today’s, I send you a file I received from a trusted friend. It says it better than I ever could. JW-Cochrane/Calgary, AB
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