Mark Is Musing

PADDLING - Mark’s Musing Sunday Mar. 21, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 8C/46F, lightly overcast and calm, Gusta romped the playing fields across the road (first time they’ve been dry enough), sniffing every grass tuft it seemed – many odor nuances of snow mold and critter pee I suppose – that my little troubles seem so tiny in comparison. [weekend writing, with more time than usual, works best with music playing; this morning Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 – Part 1 .. 16 minutes of spectacular; or, for something shorter and deeply moving, his Moonlight Sonata ]

 

I choose to: ignore the obvious, avoid the uncomfortable - my mind, closed to things that do not feed my clear goals – those I’ll avoid or shun. In the eyes of some that is foolish perhaps, but I want only the good parts.

 

Tough parts will come, we call get our fair measure of those (some more than others – I’ve been so lucky so far!). I’ll cross each bridge-across-crap when I come to them – but for now I’ll celebrate good parts. Only good parts, good people. 

 

Good for me.

 

To only have time for good things with good people; help me please, to move forward, to find firm ground, to not slip into muck  - eyes wide and arms open to embrace life. To have time to paddle through the muck, paddle to calm easy water, to where we are going leaving only good feelings in our wake.

 

If your life ended today, would it be complete? 

 

Mine - so far, is far shorter than I might expect [hooray for my good genes]. Actuarially, I have many decades left in me, good decades, but I have no guarantee – no manufacturer’s warranty (hey, I didn’t even get an owner’s manual).

 

Yet, in so many ways, my life is already much longer and richer than it might have been, had I chosen other paths, pursuits or have come out on the wrong side of the risk equation. 

 

If my life ended today, would it be complete?  Could it be said that I am done?  I thought about that, years ago; I focused on wanting to be sure those I love know it, to be sure those I have to say something to have heard it from me, to have my affairs in order, to have my treasures divided up and given away, so I can travel light when leaving this life. Whether or not there is a next one, to have left this one with messes tidied up, without loose ends left, without anyone left hanging – not knowing where they stand, not knowing how I feel – that has been my quest. I’m not done!  More time is required, much more.

 

I don’t lose sleep over that, but I ponder it sometime.  My life IS incomplete, I am wanting the next chapter … and the chapter after that. I’m not done. Some days, like today, I think I’ve scarcely begun, don’t know my, don’t know the route.  Which way is it?  Do you know?

 

Maybe, on these early days of spring – absent a partner to laugh with, a hand to hold or someone to rush home to ….. it makes me a little melancholy, it makes me sad a bit to think of all I might miss of life, to think of all the enjoyment I’ll have, of all the good I can do, of the smiles I can give to faces in need of them - there is so much left to do, I must stay, I must, I simply must stay.

 

How then, can I focus on understanding life and myself better?  I could beat up the world, wrestle a problem – or I could write poetry.

 

Someone I re-connected with recently said she didn’t want to date, but she could use a friend; here you go, and here I am:

 

~~~~~~

FRIEND

I could use a friend; you know the kind,

always there, and never gone. You know the kind,

that  kind of friend who lasts a whole life long.

 

We’ve look for them, at the altar when we say

all those things we never do, and promise all

those things that never ever happen.

 

You know the kind; they said so much but

meant so little; because we move from them

to another place, where hopes fade and dreams die.

 

Then, we wonder, if we can ever love again,

and, worse yet, when we can’t imagine someone

loving us again for if we can, can we trust it then?

 

We want a lover and we want love too but, sometimes,

we just need a friend.

~~~~~~

 

Have a spectacular Sunday; paddling your boat as hard as you can, and call me when you have time, tell me how it was and where you went, tell me how you feel and where you are going, tell me, my friend, tell me do.

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

 

March 20 Comments

 

March 20 – JUST START – I, for one, am so glad you 'just started'! 10,000 enjoy you too?! What a serial lover you are. Although we've never met, you come quietly into my morning as I hold the coffee in one hand and open email with another. You remind me daily of how alike we all are in our quest for love, as we seek understanding of life's angst. My best friend from childhood through my early 20's, died this week; she was exactly my age, with the same first and middle name. Our idealist adventures took us on different journeys, but after speaking with her grieving 90 yr. old father yesterday, she did what she loved and was known all over the world in her craft. Her second husband left her when she was diagnosed; her first husband sat by her bedside holding her hand. A solid cleansing cry like a hard rain washed away months of dullness. I feel very alive today, the first day of spring. So many things to start..., SW, Couer d'Alene, ID

 

 

March 20 – JUST START - I believe the challenge lies in allowing youself to be loved. I know for sure that I am capable of loving others and show that love quite openly and honestly but receiving love  ... well, therein lies my challenge. It is totally fear based - fear of it going away but also the fear of knowing what to do with that love.  Congratulations on seven years of musings .., PG, Calgary, AB

 

 

March 20 – JUST START - Harvey Mackay is so right. I have never been so happy as I am now back at my chosen work. Last week I was on Hawaii Island, first at a course near Kona, then to Hilo for a day to see again the town where I lived for a year in the 70's. All in all, it was a great experience with excellent, knowledgeable speakers and an excellent hotel. (I'm not a water person, but did ceremoniously stick my foot into the surprisingly cold pool) That being said, I do enjoy sailing. You're counting up all the things you've done?....Nothing wrong with that. It helps to know what one has accomplished, with the caveat that some of it may not make us proud....But it does give bearings to one's way. Also, that you're striking out in so many directions simultaneously also sounds exciting. I'm reading a book on the human side of the history of quantum mechanics, " The Age of Entanglement" by Louisa Gilder, her first book but an excellent one. We are only beginning to have glimpses into that strange and wonderful world since it was discovered more than 100 years ago. My haunting question is, what is the connection between the classical (our everyday) world and that one, since they must of necessity interact? We are already beginning to come to grips with the possibilities of quantum computers, but also somewhere in there lie the secrets of the paranormal, religion and all of the other aspects of life, including the very existence of the universe, EG, Calgary, AB

JUST START - Mark’s Musing Saturday Mar. 20, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 4C/39F, a calm clear après-gym walk with Gusta cleared some cobwebs in my mind, the silence, the aloneness, the clarity . . came to me that way – now, at my table with Pachelbel’s Canon to comfort and inspire me to write . . .  

 

‘Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.’ – Harvey MacKay

 

First day of spring today. My tracking says this concludes 7 years; the first, March 21, 2003, by my account 2,556 consecutive daily columns.  I write of life and ask questions – seek answers, find more questions – examine pain, celebrate joy, make friends, teach a little, learn lots, offend some, thrilling some, collaborate with some, meet some - each year brings newer, better and more intriguing connections; old friends and early loyal reader connections matter and are precious too. 

 

Friend, mentor, wise-woman KT wrote: described it: Mark’s decision to walk and talk each day to a disparate group of friends, family, business colleagues, romantic interests, and just plain folks can be viewed as either vanity or generosity. Musings began like this…a plan to get outside and walk each day, to turn off the phone, to connect with nature, to exercise body and brain. But he also imposes this daily discipline upon himself to exercise the craft of writing. Writers write. As Mark connected with nature, stilling his often frenetic energy and absorbing the subtle shifts and nuances of nature, there is less observation of distractions, and more musings.  It is said that when a human being is deprived of one of the five basic senses, the others are heightened in a compensatory effort. Mark cannot smell. But he has a heightened sense of compassion, humor, awe, and inquisitiveness. That he chooses to share this with his musing pals is a daily treat."  … she wrote more than that (see the intro to my first book when I finally finish/publish it)

 

‘Just start’, I said.

 

Seven years, gone, 2,555 columns done, this 2,556^th.   Just start - how it began; I wrote the first, for my daughter Carla; being a smart-ass, urging her to start something – I wrote to push-her (not a good idea I’ve learned), but with love; to show her ‘just starting’ was one way to consider, to start a writing project – that process might take over. She rolled her eyes (still does sometimes) at her silly dad.  ‘Just start’, I said. It had merit then. It does every morning.

 

Maybe, relentless pursuit of imperfection – if that’s it, I’ll never run out; looking ahead to where I’ll walk, looking back at where I think I’ve been - looking across tables, rooms and oceans to see those who impact my life, my thoughts and this scribbling.

 

Some ‘tings, when we do the same things day after day, time after time, fail to produce different results. This is true of so much in life – but writing this daily column, morning walk – then writing this, every day, produces results beyond wildest wish, hope or original intent.  The first few years I queried self and audience if I should continue; that angst, long past. Doing this, a loyal audience (from a start of 7) of nearly 10,000 get it daily by email + website visits, but if the audience was just two, it would be worth it too. Those two, just we, just me‘n you.

 

For example: what can I say, how can I help with this:  ‘The Challenge: Such a simple concept for one of the most important things in life. To love and to be loved.  I  truly don't know which is more challenging: to love another or to let someone love me.’

 

What can I say to this person – what can I give to help, to engage them in taking a step of such importance?  My answer: take on that  challenge, try first to let someone love you, and when you let that in, whether or not you let them in, you can practice 'accepting the love and loving'. Maybe it will be difficult as you fear, but maybe not and then, I suppose, you'd have this challenge half-solved.

 

I know how to stop, but I don’t want to.  If I stopped, what then?  I can’t eat this for breakfast but it nourishes me so. I can’t hold this in my hand, but it lifts. I can’t put my arms around this but it connects to so many people who impact my life and thinking. When someone tells me I helped them, I become nourished and wealthy beyond description. 

 

Tomorrow will come. I’ll write another. The day after, another.   To love and to be loved – has come to me, far more easily than I ever would have thought; JUST START …  that’s the way these things work.

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

March 19 Comments

 

March 19 – HOPE-FULL AGAIN - Thanks for this - I needed it especially today. I'm going the independent publishing route for my novel, "Heaven Falls," for all the reasons you mention here, and I'm feeling increasingly happy about the decision. Meanwhile, my lit. agent continues to troll another novel, and publishers continue to say "fine, lovely, well-written, good story...not for us." But I'm moving forward! 'in spite of' - 'because of' - 'in addition to'! And, like you, I have a strong sense that the revolutionary feeling I'm experiencing will be part of the revolution that is currently the publishing industry on its heels. I was a 'success' back in the eighties and early nineties, a 'failure' earlier this century - it's ALL nonsense! I agree that the best is yet to come. Thanks for reminding me, WE, Alford, MA

 

March 19 – HOPE-FULL AGAIN - Mark sorry but I don’t know what kind of information is this one. Ok, so are you working at some communications agency in Canada?  And you? Are you journalist as well? I’m journalist and I work at PR agency in Chile, so I’m interested about this kind of job in Canada. Actually I was living in Toronto for a while. Thanks, Kind regards, GA, Santiago, Chile

 

March 19 – HOPE-FULL AGAIN - Hi Mark, Thanks for the phone call. Are you interested in meeting for a coffee and chat sometime, as a friend, for old times sake?, PF, Calgary, AB

 

March 19 – HOPE-FULL AGAIN - “Dam the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” (David Glasgow Farragut)  ??? Sounds like you may have let go and are going with the flow today, JW-Calgary/Cochrane, AB . . PS Think you and a certain lady need to really, once and for all, settle unfinished things between you cuz the longing peeks out through every Musing.

 

March 19 – DAILY THOUGHT / ARTICLE NOTIFICATION - I identified with this thought today Mark, JJ, Calgary, AB

HOPE-FULL AGAIN - Mark’s Musing Friday Mar. 19, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: -4C/24F, light overnight snow shower provided a think blanket for fresh rabbit tracks (Gusta loved that) which will melt tomorrow to was some grime away – another spectacular morning after . .  .

 

I want a lot, I expect there will be a revolutionary feel to it – so IT, that which I seek, is never described in terms of what I might compare it to that has gone before, but in new terms, in new experiences and that - my friends - is worth waiting, worth every struggle, worth intermittent joys and pains, rights and re-writes, wrongs, and wrongs repeated.    Because - there will never be, again, anything as great as the greatest we’ve had:  job, belly-laugh, joy, love, deep pain, epiphany - because the best, the most extreme of anything we’ve ever had or seen is likely gone and never to be repeated.

 

If you read this, and you think I am writing about you – just for you - I am.. Read on . . .

 

How about this notion: rather than trying to best our past, how about if we BEST our future?  I want the best love in the rest of my life, the best success I can achieve in the rest of my life and the best health in the rest of my life.  Someone might argue that my best is in my past; I would argue against that with every ounce of my being. 

 

Some days, I wake feeling I know nothing at all; some days, like today, I wake up feeling I know everything there is to know that is worth knowing.  Neither is true, but the feeling is real to me, therefore it must be real, right? 

 

I am feeling a little more wise than I was, a little more confident than a while ago and more clear about rightness of my recent judgments – owning what I’ve chosen what to do, and what I’ve chosen to let go . . and what to dearly hang onto.

 

Should we stop seeking love or success or health in our lives– because whatever we find can never recreate that towering inferno * moment from memory?  The best IS yet to come, there is a morning after *- I know it.  Life is not a series of disaster movie-song-metaphors of our past, or of re-living dreams we never completely realized - it is the adventure film called our future, unscripted new dreams brought to life.

 

The notion, that things will work out, or that they won’t – is neither pessimism, optimism, cynicism – but, when too much has happened – too much fog has wandered into the brain – too much value has been built to simply toss aside something beautiful simply because someone believes, for the moment, that it ‘won’t work’; this makes no sense to me.  

 

What do you believe?  Does it all make sense?  How does it look to you, to others looking in - do we let love come in as easily as we dole it out?  And, if we aren’t doling it out, how can we expect it to come in?  I’ve concerned myself a bit with these questions lately, in part trying to figure some things out  - and in part from trying to figure someone else out.  Some things thrill, some scare – some do both. Does that resolve any big question?

 

Or, do we have to trust in people, in ourselves, in our own beliefs – and is that strong enough to foster disobedience of the logic of our brain, or in someone else’s brain, simply because you believe something strongly?

 

Have a spectacular Friday.  Here is something hopeful I wrote; it may not write my wrongs but it feels songlike, it is my mood, it is my hope, it is my belief:

 

Spring promises everything,

Summer welcomes everything,

Autumns leaves blow everything away,

Winter snows cover everything,

Then spring wakes us, makes us,

Hopeful again.

 

Our first, best, biggest, longest – these terms describe how we remember what was, but how do we describe what we dream of, hope for, wish for . . and would like to create?

 

Much discussion recently – on faith, and belief and hope – how they mingle in our minds, what they mean; not the kind that moves mountains, or explains why they are there, but faith in someone, belief in someone, trust in someone – that kind of faith, hope and belief.  George Seaton wrote: ‘Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.’

 

Mark Kolke

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*(I’ve always like Maureen McGovern’s voice – Carla and I caught her show at the Rainbow Room in NYC in 1992)

 

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

March 18 Comments

March 18 – PRINTEMPS – Mark: I love spring and there is always its promise. Hope you are doing OK, PL, Calgary, AB

March 18 – PRINTEMPS - I am doing fine.  Looking forward to taking a needed vacation soon.  But where does one go to vacation from "Paradise"?  Visit the kids in SFO...three days tops...full of "Mom, can you cook this or that...can you mend these jeans...can you help me paint this room, weed the yard, hem the drapes, spring clean the closets...OY!  Although I so love helping them when I visit, I so need to do absolutely nothing this time.  Maybe I will rent a hotel room in Wailea and forget the travel.  Go to the all day Spa at the Grand.  Ohhhh yea, LP, Wailuku, HI

 

March 18 – PRINTEMPS - Au printemps, I like to think of your morning musing as "Mark Kolke Draft One".  Like every good manuscript, it improves with revisions. But every good manuscript has to start with a good story, and you have one of those.  No story, no readers. Was the Internet invented for communications like Mark's Musing? Some days it seems so, FD, Owen Sound, ON

 

March 18 – PRINTEMPS - Lots of steady gentle rain last night and the stream is running full.  Feels like spring in Hawaii, with rainy nights and partly sunny days. There could be no wrong on such a glorious morning, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

PRINTEMPS - Mark’s Musing Thursday Mar. 18, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 1C/34F, light breeze, overcast, familiar arch in west bringing continued mild; Gusta was lunging in attempts to get across the street to meet new 4-legged friends . . the buzz of traffic and grime-behind melted snow-cover is begging for a shower . .

 

We can’t skip steps or skip seasons.  I want to renew - my subscription: to spring, to life – I don’t want it to run out.  Life’s no auto-renew subscription, it is about our body moving through time cloaked in emotion and effect, cause and action, pain and joy, lightness and numbness – a life of contradictions that somehow turn out perfectly, year, after year. 

 

Today is new, it is fine, we’ll be fine. Tomorrow will be good too, perhaps better.  I try to have faith, in things that are good. Knowing so confidently that they contain truth we can trust should keep us safe from fear, immune to uncertainty and free from doubt. When we trust that, we move on as surely as winter moves into spring – not so much the season’s start, but to enjoy the spring in our step that flows from the first spring day.

 

Don’t be late, don’t miss it. Spring, it is time to renew.  Winter never skips a season; we always get its cold, its harsh reality, its length and its lonely times – it sets us up to face spring with faces turned to the sun, our heads held high to reach the first shower drops that will fall.  And when it is done, spring arrives. I like beautiful the French word for spring - printemps – which loses nothing of its in joy translation.

 

Life is about many things – we all experience the mix, but spring is truly about renewed hope.  This winter is nearly done; one of weather and wonder, of turmoil and fairy tale, of work without much time for play.

 

‘If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.’ – Anne Bradstreet

 

We accept all things, we find peace within. Good. Nothing else makes sense, nothing else works.  This is the formula for finding joy in every morning.  It works.  We are so adaptable – adapting to our environment in our thoughts, though our big brain tends to over think; it likes to get in the way sometimes. 

 

We keep progressing as individuals and as a species at an incredible rate.  But adapting is not without challenge.  We must change with the wind and the weather, we must put winter behind us when it is time to embrace spring.  Now, here we are - like the plants, trees and birds, we feel reborn, again and again and again.

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

 

March 17 Comments

 

March 17 – LETTING GO -  Sideways days, some days, no matter what the plan, things, events, people . . just go sideways instead of forward.  I try to go with the curly cue motion of life. I try to let it work, instead of force what cannot be forced. I try, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

March 17 – LETTING GO - A good start, Mark.  How will you retain the peace, balance and clarity that you have now?  Emblazon paragraph three into your mind so that you will always be able to touch it, LP, Wailuku, HI

LETTING GO - Mark’s Musing Wednesday Mar. 17, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 3C/37F, steady breeze (overnight brutish wind subsided but not before it pushed those clouds away), mountain views strange because cloud banks cover them like frosting on cake; with not critters around, Gusta wanted to chase commuters . . .

 

My recent personal malaise sorting itself in my head – shaky, clearer, confused, but clearer. Perspective comes, when it comes, and not a moment before. Last evening some things went click, some things went thud, some things cleared up a bit.

 

I don’t know this new feeling; letting go, of a feeling – letting go of someone – the acceptance  things are changing, have changed, will never be the same again. Holding reins tight, it is hard to let go of the past, of yesterday – especially parts we feel/see slipping away – but it is tougher still to let the future unfold, let next steps unfold without control on them.  Writing about it, maybe I’ll help someone else too, but writing about it helps me.

 

When I was an innocent, uninvolved – but not yet engaged in life or ideas or zealous pursuit of anything – I remember when each day ahead, that came after each tomorrow meant ideas, activity, purpose and boundless energy to be harnessed - triggered simply by thoughts of it.

 

Thinking of when yesterday’s memories drove today’s thoughts and tomorrow’s actions - now, I long for the yesterday like a sappy Beatles song. I still offend people sometimes, but occasionally make some small difference to someone.

 

I remember seeing a TV interview - a Canadian writer [can’t remember his name] sitting in his windowless basement room surrounded by his paper jungle with sticky notes on the wall – I found him intriguing, validating – he spoke so passionately about his goal of writing something that might change the world, or affect someone - those being far more important to him than making fame or fortune as a writer.

 

Some days some reader tells me I made a difference, added value to their difficult situations; those differences make my world better too. Once in a while, just when I think I am not relevant – on those days when I doubt myself, question my motives, try to analyze ‘what is it all about’ I make a difference to someone.

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

March 16 Comments

 

March 16 – AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN –   It was one that had an effect which I did not anticipate but it is welcome.  No big "AH HAH" or epiphany just the quiet "click" of a piece falling into place that I didn't even realize was out of place.  The clarity I have achieved is quite something. Have a terrific day.  Keep up the work you do... there are people out here in the cloud whose lives you touch more than you know, CC, Calgary, AB

AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN - Mark’s Musing Tuesday Mar. 16, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 0C/32F, calm, light cloud had overtaken last night’s empty sky filled with every star but missing a moon; lagoon path in dark, navigational involved rabbits, yappy backyard lap dogs and Gusta’s nose beacon ,  investigating everywhere there was muck . .

 

We’ve all lost something, all found something, all loved someone, all started something new, looked around a corner, under a rock – inside and outside the box, we’ve all been curious, all been lost and all been found. Again and again and again.

 

Self, precious commodity we lose track of sometime; how do we find it? If we’ve mislaid it, how do we reclaim it?  Like all we create, we need to surrender to it, not control it, which is scary ‘cuz we have no idea or control of outcome.

 

In the hands of someone we know, love and trust, this is so true; with a stranger - it could be a completely different matter. I’ve become accustomed to the unexpected being both surprise and delight; if we trust ourselves, our being, to some process we don’t control – where could it lead?  There is wisdom in letting go of the control – fear in doing it – but wisdom in its result – provided we trust and surrender to it.

 

A vessel can be a container, an artery, or a ship; even when empty, they carry capacity around.  Any heart condition - requires capacity and energy to keep life-blood flowing. Trusting, following and listening are new challenges when we gaze at our empty vessel.   

 

I find myself in midst of a process; not one of being led, nor am I being pushed – but a self guided tour through my own stuff. Author Antoine de Saint-Exupery said: ‘Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.’  Some days it really sucks, but some days we (I do anyway) see the process is worthy – just need to trust it.

 

Easy fixes in life are everywhere, but that doesn’t make them good fixes. Right fixes or wrong ones, are just that - fixes.  If a fence is broken we fix boards.  A car broken, we fix it . . etc., etc., again and again and again. But, when a bucket is empty, we don’t fix it – we tend to fill it, and re-fill it as if an empty bucket is the problem.

 

Buckets are not always for filling, sometimes their job is to be standing by, available – in case someone needs a bucket.  Some buckets are best left empty.   Is it to be filled, left empty, left behind or simply left alone?  ‘Feeling empty’ right now might be best, rather than worst.   

 

If we trust process, then, it would seem, we should be able to trust outcome.  The problem I’ve found most often is that I have a strong notion of what I want outcome to be – so trusting the process feels more of a ‘conditional trusting’ than it ought to be.

 

Process, implies I/we need to trust our thoughts, instincts and preferences to some form of ‘figuring things out procedure’. Experience teaches, often painfully, that failure to recognize process at work is folly.  Whether we are doing a business workshop, a team meeting or having a personal look in the mirror . . . we learn this – I’ve learned it, so it MUST be true for everyone. Trust process.

 

Having never been in just THIS place, I don't know how it should feel. New phase unfolds - feels strange - but to find happiness within myself, then this process of moving toward an unknown future shouldn’t frighten. The unknown brings both anxiety and anticipation into play; I'll go forward, and then report back . .

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

 

March 15 Comments

 

March 15 – LIFE AS WOMAN IS – Saw something this morning I thought I’d share; even though you may already have seen it, sometimes it’s fun to get a reminder of it: “Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.”  Don’t know the source, lots using it without giving credit as no one seems to have found who was the source....JW-Calgary/Cochrane, AB

 

March 15 – LIFE AS WOMAN IS – Mark, you sound wonderful and strong today, full of anticipation of today and tomorrow.  I am glad for you, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

March 15 – LIFE AS WOMAN IS – Well, I gather from reading FO's little comments that you are wishing each other well and moving on as friends, which is a lovely way to end a chapter, SW, Coeur d'Alene, ID

 

March 14 – PIZZA, PI AND COFFEE – Hi Mark. I have been enjoying your column for years now. I wanted to comment on your adventures in dating... as a single woman in my mid-forties I completely see where you are coming from... I too am learning how to prepare the steak before the sizzle!  And to find a partner willing to live on a tropical beach while I pursue my writing.  I have lived in the Caribbean so your references to an island lifestyle are definitely resonating with me. Good luck on your date, CM, Calgary, AB

LIFE AS WOMAN IS - Mark’s Musing Monday Mar. 15, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 7C/45F, strange clouds but clear all around the horizon – like there is a lid on the city – as morning breaks late . . . Gusta and I walked well past the lagoon, examining new sights and listening, hum of freeway traffic  . .

 

Good Monday,

 

My relationship with life and love – my reactions, those of others - I am certain most people would not understand or, in contemplating any kind of relationship with me, not tolerate. Some 'moving along' strategy is called for.  Richard Bach wrote: ‘Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.’

 

Life is too short to be over-thinking …. anything.  Today – what do you bring me?

 

To today: of the future, thank you for stopping by my imagination, please enjoy browsing my mind; you are so far away sometimes but now you arrived. I'm interested in cultivating a deep meaningful connection with you – because you are the type of day I would hang out with if you were next door or across the street.  I am not lost, wandering a bit, to see what our future might hold – I’ll ask for directions when needed, but I’m not lost yet.

 

Today, you are new - there must be some new word to describe this - that explains pleasures to be found, experiences to be explored - I want to pierce you like a ripened fruit and devour every morsel, every drop – missing nothing of this day, enjoying all of you.

 

Today you are old: we can agree, we are on different pages on many issues; thoughts roll - in, out, lapping waves ebbing, flowing – like life’s assumptions - jumping to no conclusion, no unexpected consequence, this day, this new week arrived while I slept soundly.

 

Today you are old and new, déjà vu, we’ve been down this path: I met you and, so far, have enjoyed knowing you. Obviously the flavor of our getting to know each other better is going to take a different path than we might each have imagined when we began this journey. Long time ago, or just a week ago, or yesterday – my history, and yours, has so much to do with how we see things, how we think and our values.

 

Of life:  ‘She fights and vanquishes in me, and I live and breathe in her, and I have life and being.’ – Miguel de Cervantes .  Like Cervantes, I enjoy writing of life in female terms; life as woman is, full of everything a woman is - sweetly refined to stoic, to bawdy, to tenacious, to nurturing, to combative, to brilliantly simple and simply complicated – life, to me is as perfect/imperfect as any idealized woman I love and who might love in return. I only know life from this male point of view, only see woman with male eyes.

 

I don’t know the source of this gem, called ‘WHAT IS LIFE?’

Life is an Adventure ... Dare it
Life is a Beauty ... Praise it
Life is a Challenge ... Meet it
Life is a Duty ... Perform it
Life is a Love ... Enjoy it
Life is a Tragedy ... Face it
Life is a Struggle ... Fight it
Life is a Promise ... Fulfill it
Life is a Game ... Play it
Life is a Gift ... Accept it
Life is a Journey ... Complete it
Life is a Mystery ... Unfold it
Life is a Goal ... Achieve it
Life is an Opportunity ... Take it
Life is a Puzzle ... Solve it
Life is a Song ... Sing it
Life is a Sorrow ... Overcome it
Life is a Spirit ... Realize it

 

Today – when you are done, we’ll linger in after-glow, readying for next course of a delicious meal, looking ahead, looking forward to Tuesday . . .  

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

March 14 Comments

 

March 14 – PIZZA, PI AND COFFEE – Your non-belief. You may not believe in "god", but you have more faith then most humans I know. You awake each morning, ready, expecting the best, looking for small and large miracles. If that isn't faith, then I don't know what is.  I'm sure daylight savings helps much of the planet. but in Hawaii, of course, no need. In Alaska, where the days increase/decrease by 30 minutes a week, the benefit of an hour soon evaporates. Living on opposite edges of America, I feel American but don't act it.  Hope coffee is good and conversation is better, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

March 14 – PIZZA, PI AND COFFEE - Add OPINION to the FUD abbreviation.  Some people are unable to accept the opinion of another and must debate to "convince them out of their ignorance" rather than accept the opinion of the other side.  Some people become defensive because they cannot defend their opinion but remain steadfast and non-negotiable in spite of it...because it feels right in their heart.  Faith falls into this category.  If wars have been initiated because of OPINION what made you think that expressing one of yours would help you trip the light fantastic on a date?  Opinion can be viewed as being far worse than fear, uncertainty and doubt. It breeds self righteousness. It is delivered defensively by the Id, Ego and Superego and generates energy in a form that is not complimentary in any relationship...for any length of time. So...FUDO...and check your IES while you're at it, LP, Wailuku, HI

 

March 14 – PIZZA, PI AND COFFEE - I am enjoying your site very much.  Was thrilled to discover today was Einstein's birthday and Pi day.  My daughter and her friends went to Grandma's Pie restaurant - a local pie eatery - and brought me home a nice slice of Coconut  Cream pie.  Hope all is well with you, GL, Putnam Valley, NY

PIZZA, PI AND COFFEE - Mark’s Musing Sunday Mar. 14, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: -5C/22F, walking late apre-gym, calm sunshine warmed us, a few duck-flights cruised overhead, traffic building (big church down the street) as everyone adjusts to this day. Gusta felt rushed, because she was – more later when we do an afternoon trek.

 

Where are you walking … middle of the road, safe path, fast lane or are you watching from the ditch?   Fear, uncertainty and doubt – as I wrote of earlier this week – can paralyze us, or prevent us from exploring the unknown. 

 

Imagine, just imagine, what an open mind can find if it is open.  To me, that is like asking what a dry sponge can soak up.   But, a bright mind is easily disguised as an open one. I think the two don’t always or often go together.

 

It’s Pi Day, Pi Approximation Day and Einstein’s birthday – a day worth going for pie perhaps.  I must go now, though leftover pizza in fridge is calling to me;  I’m late running late (forgot to re-set clocks for daylight saving time), off to a coffee date (probably no pie), a small coffee (ordering large sometimes commits to staying way-too-long)

 

I’m hoping for a better outcome than last night’s date which ended after the pizza (actually, during the pizza its outcome was clear). There was no movie to follow or ‘rest of the evening’. I’d been deemed unsuitable over religious views (lack of them really), pretty much before the pizza arrived at the table, so hopefully this coffee-date won’t get hung up on why I don’t attend any church (or want to).  

 

Expecting someone is/is not right  - the dating-scene challenge – is simpler by far than making those determinations once living with and/or married to someone – where the struggle with issues, viewpoints and personality fuel furry or numb numbness – so much easier to weigh big issues and petty ones without the encumbrance of expectations or commitments, real of perceived, that obligate us to a path we committed to. 

 

Getting to know someone takes time, yet we so often (me too) reject someone before that getting acquainted really has a chance to happen – or, just as easily, we slip into familiar modes of intimacy too soon, foregoing the ingredients in a good recipe because we put the sizzle ahead of the steak.

 

That said, I like sizzle. I like pizza.  I like open minds. I’m off . .

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

March 13 Comments

 

March 13 – LIFE AS I SEE IT – I do not believe that it is necessary to believe each day to be perfect in order to accept its happenings; all we have to do is accept that each day is. Why meddle in something we can do nothing about? I never give it a thought. We are not perfect either, in spite of what some schools of thought which I shall not name believe. That's pretty self-evident to me. To me, being worthwhile is quite enough. To work for a living, to struggle with producing the very best piece of art or with thoughts about a subject, as in Einstein's "gedanken" experiments is as high a nobility as the human mind can achieve. Add to that the best that our moral understanding has to offer, sprinkle with a little humor, and we have the recipe for the "complete" man or woman, EG, Calgary, AB

LIFE AS I SEE IT - Mark’s Musing Saturday Mar. 13, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk:-1C/29F, scattered flakes swirl; we walked an empty lagoon path route under brooding sky – no pups or lap dogs to greet or fresh deposits for Gusta to inspect – then chilly north wind pushed our backs coming home.

 

Hot coffee, Bach/Chopin/Elgar/Tchaikovsky CD treasures playing, dog fed, resting at my feet – peanut-buttered raisin-toast resting in my still stuffed belly (from last night’s scrumptious shrimp stir-fry inaugural of my new wok; thanks SB for coming by to help eat .. your ‘coaching’ was appreciated … I hope to use those insights soon); leftovers tempted me – I have no dietary rules at breakfast – but opted instead for great bread from T&T (where I bought wok and fresh stock of tapioca starch) …

 

As new information surfaces, is it a problem, or an opportunity; and, when a new problem or person or issue surfaces, is that a problem, or an opportunity?    Comments and queries from new acquaintances – about me,  this column, and why I write it – warrant explanation I suppose, and thanks too for those who spare time each day to muse with me:

 

I write of life - as I see it, opinions (mine), point of view and the merits of having one, of ideas – in search of better understanding self and relationships. Too, it’s about love and lust, love found and lost, and of those joys when held in the palm of my hand.  When I view my own situation, sometimes I can’t find myself with both hands. So I write.

 

My reality is rooted in belief that – no matter how tough it might feel – this day is perfect.  This day’s not broke.   I see not need to fix it. Avoidance of reality never fixed a problem. Luck never made anything good that wasn’t good already.  I see clearly when things don’t matter to me, I see clearly ‘someone else’s stuff’, I see clearly when it is someone else’s family, life, problems - sometimes, with open eyes and clear view I see nothing.  As I write, things get clearer.

 

To F.O.: Your overnight words, something I look forward to every morning, now, more sweetly powerful than ever; I am so grateful for you and times we’ve had and the ones we never had but dreamt of; all because you reached out to me . . and I to you. Begun by someone else’s tears on a beach - shifted, changed, enriched and grown – but now put behind us, as new chapters unfold. Perhaps it is best to believe things happen for a reason – though I don’t believe it is someone else’s plan, but rather our own plan/plans that work, or fail, our own plans that merit risks we take.  When we are afraid to risk, we are afraid to truly live, aren’t we?  This is life, as I see it. 

 

Someone wrote me saying ‘time tells you everything you need to know . . and there is no way to hurry the harvest’; perhaps true . . . but I’ve never known how to go slow at life. I don’t expect I’ll learn anytime soon.   My day will involve reading, garage cleaning, some housework – some reading, some writing, then some more writing, then some more …. culminating in ‘date night’. No telling what adventure will unfold from pizza and a movie, a new way of life or a near miss?  We've just begun, we are not done.   As I see it, we are - all of us – changing constantly because that's the way these things work

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

 

March 11 Comments

 

March 12 – WHAT DO YOU SEE – Loved the Words of PEACE video It's a New Dawn!  Hi Mark! Your daily musings are wonderful.  Indeed,  although my postal code is not Cranston, it would be nice to enjoy a coffee someday! , DQ, Calgary, AB

 

March 12 – WHAT DO YOU SEE –  I read your musing again today. People often kid me about being analytical, but I think you have me beat by a long shot!, JS, Lethbridge, AB

 

March 12 – WHAT DO YOU SEE – From the outside looking in, your life since last fall has gone through huge significant life altering changes.  In location, in people, in family, in everything.  If sleep sometimes escapes you or FUD creeps into your psyche or if women confound you, forgive yourself for not knowing everything you want to know. Your are good and intelligent and funny and warm and loving.  You probably will never know everything you want to know but you will – you definitely will – find a warm person to love and to hold when it is right, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

WHAT DO YOU SEE - Mark’s Musing Friday Mar. 12, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: -4C/24F, hazy cloud muted the darkness as day broke; grimy remnants of snow remain in north facing yards, otherwise our walk is Gusta’s turf inspection time.

 

What is your attitude today?  Will it start something new, have a breakthrough, be a success worth remembering?  Try a little inspiration with your coffee. After all, you are investing a day of your life; may as well get yourself pumped up. Are you sustaining it?

 

A week often leaves me weak, with barely enough energy to go on, not enough to break through a barrier, lift a mountain or leap a tall building in a single bound. Still, stopping to think about while sipping caffeine inspiration . . . why not?  Indulge me a minute to think about a few points.  What do you see in your mirror today?

 

I have some Friday appearance adjustment thoughts for you to consider: nobody is starting something new today, nobody wants to focus on new ideas, fresh ideas, innovation today. Today is the day for dressing casual, readying ourselves for an early escape from the office to begin weekend get-aways or weekend-projects.  We seem to have energy for that, so energy isn’t the issue, or the problem.  Attitude is the issue.

 

By the end of the week it is often too hard to – with bright eyes, open mind and enthusiasm – see the next great opportunity/person/idea, to see them clearly as effectively as we did on Monday or Tuesday.  Why not have a spectacular innovation Friday?

 

A day of innovation, fresh ideas – connecting dots to draw a plan of attack, a way to develop something awesome.  I’ve read we should not buy a car built on a Monday because they are lemons in the making.  The supposition is that people are not motivated to do their best coming off a weekend.

 

What about this Friday, coming into a weekend; this is the day for winding up, winding down, closing up, for finishing, for completion – to close the week with a happy ending.

 

If my attitude is that I can start something great today, I will.

 

If my attitude is that I can finish something and start something on the same day, I will.

 

If my attitude is that I can love and work and play all on the same day, I will.

 

If my attitude is that I can, I will.

 

Is your smile turned on, did your energy arrive with you at the office?

 

We are reflections of our mood, our attitude. No need to check the mirror, everyone can see you – and when they see you, they see your attitude.  Attitude has a direct connection to energy level; if our energy level is low, don’t look at the gas gauge, look in attitude mirror to see what kind of attitude you are wearing.

 

And for some Friday menu - a little fish story – will lighten your day! Happy Friday.

 

Mark Kolke

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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: musing@maxcomm.ca  

 

March 11 Comments

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY – Your musing today reminded me of a quote I like; "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work." Thomas Edison. I hope all is well, it must almost be time to get together for a coffee to catch up, SB, Calgary, AB

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY – The Devil's Advocate is always good for making one think.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, you don't have to agree or disagree with them…we each make our own choices, think our own thoughts.  As a person of strong opinions I have to sit back and listen more, think more, and discuss more when others are differing in opinion.  I think that helps me develop as an individual and value others as well.  SR, Calgary, AB

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY – I left your column open on my computer all day, thinking about mistakes, thinking about learning from experience and thinking about FUD – thinking about them off and on, not all day. IF we learn from what we call a ‘mistake’ we can add it to our experience, although not the nitty gritty details, but the overall lesson, which might merely have been that action or plan didn’t work or perhaps only part of it didn’t work.  FUD ? To me, uncertainty and doubt are all part of the big F – Fear – just varying degrees, other names for it.  Fear can freeze us in place, hardly breathing – uncertain of the next move, doubting the wisdom of ANY next move.  Sometimes, just acknowledging fear is sufficient to enable one to say, “Okay then, what is my next action, my next step” and then go on to do it, releasing us mentally, emotionally and physically (perhaps spiritually as well) from that frozen state. Life doesn’t have to be nothing but a series of those releases, but there will be a lot of them as we learn or re-learn who we are and what we already know. JW-Cochrane/Calgary because tonight’s my night in Cochrane, AB

 

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY - Bravo, Mark!  Good Reads today.  Yes, there should be more Einstein types...each of us as followers of his type of tenacity in goal setting and overcoming problems in our own daily equation.  I was watching an old movie last night with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  They sang a song that went "Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again."  I think that this is a healthy way of dealing with life and it's plethora of problems.  Einstein, however, did not excel at love...everyone, including the greatest thinkers of the world, becomes a fool here, LP, Wailuku, HI

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY - Thanks for the respectful butt kicking Mark. I've been having a FUD few weeks, and now that I have a name to call it, I can laugh at how paralysing this disease of the mind has rendered me. Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt have undermined, overruled and laid waste to my best dreams, daily goals, and inspired thinking, relentlessly whispering that I'm 'not enough'.  My internal dialog is worse that any self appointed critic could ever be. Telling my own thoughts to shut up seems a little silly, but that's exactly what I've been doing. This be-fudd-led state has me wondering who is the 'real' me that is telling the thinking me to buck up? Clarity, certainty, confidence will be my guide that I'm in a positive intention state, tapping into creative abundance, not lack. I am enough; more than enough , SW, Coeur d'Alene, ID

 

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY - Great article!  Yes, you're right that we don't often take the time to learn from our failures.  Why?  Because FUD is emotional, and it is hard to strip away the emotional connection to our efforts!  If and when we do put emotion aside and look at our efforts from a stranger's perspective, it's easy and clear to see where we made our mistakes.  I also enjoyed Larry Solway's "The Dirtiest Game in Town".  The United States is not isolated from the rest of the world.  In fact, our economy is so intertwined with what happens elsewhere in the world that we can no longer stick our heads in the sand and play dumb. With our national debt growing exponentially, in fact other countries like China and Saudia Arabia own us, not the other way around. If either of these countries called in their debt, we'd be in big trouble.  And by the way, isn't what's happening to Greece exactly the same thing that brought down our own US economy?  Will the Banks never learn?  Maybe it's time for all of us to pull our money out of those banks who are participating in derivatives and put them into the smaller, local banks who insist on having personal relationships and knowing each and every customer.  Now That would be a statement, wouldn't it?  Regards, MM, Phoenix, AZ

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY –  Spring is near, The birds are beginning their song at 5 am while it is still mostly dark and the kitties are very rowdy until the sun comes up. Then they just sleep. As the decades move forward, the things I am fearful change to reflect my life's status. My fears are for my kids and wishing them a future that satisfies and helps them to grow. Doubt and uncertainty creep in mostly when I fret about people or happenings over which I have no control. The prayer about accepting the things we cannot change is wonderful advice. I should take it sometime. Enjoy your day.  You are busy and that is good, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

March 11 – FUD IS THE ENEMY –  Hi Mark , You are so RIGHT about conquering FUD. Fear IS a state of mind as is optimism that breeds more optimism, just as fear breeds more fear. The optimistic attitude itself attracts the positive and mitigates fear. I like Elbert Hubbard's quote "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one."  Thank you for your expressive insights...always a constant reminder to live life with an open mind to "capture opportunity." , SY, Honolulu, HI