today’s Musing written and published from
Morning walk: -14C/6F; lightly overcast at first light, waffled pink bellied clouds greeted us, then they changed to gray once more; Gusta and I walked a now familiar path, down to the lagoon where ‘danger thin ice’ signs are kept.
Like composer’s notes or painter’s brush strokes - words, the writer’s tool kit, mix variables to create perfect (or perfectly absurd) threads of understanding; under deadline pressure, self-imposed or otherwise; like tire pressure, something we don’t notice unless we have too much, or too little.
I’ve pondered popular notions, that we need to be feeling same things at the same time; in relationships that we are compelled to be headed in the same direction for similar reasons – using emotion-yardsticks to determine if relationships work or have potential or not.
We don’t have to arrive at the same time, because these trains of thought don’t usually leave the station together - or always run on time; things happen, bags get lost, circumstances change and, just as the playground closes for repairs or skating is curtailed due to thin ice, it will soon re-open soon to raucous child’s play noises.
We must not forget that, somewhere, there is a place for us; this phrase, this song title and its lyrics, tell us all we need to know – and if you need a 3 minute spiritual lift, a rendition by Norwegian singer Sissel Kyrkjebø will warm your coffee and stir your spirit.
During Barack Obama’s State of the Union speech last night, cameras panned the sea of old blue and gray suits hung on worn gray old men, easily make a case for term limits. This got me wondering, should we have term limits on stages of our own lives, when we’ve spent enough of our time on something, or some stage, when it is time to move on? You know, a maximum number of relationships for instance, or a time frame for moving on from breakup or divorce or bereavement; a system where we all get our share of stuff, a balance – time for everything, time for moving, for moving on, from one step, or stage to another – a time for taking down the ‘danger thin ice’ sign to step forward with greater confidence.
Maybe, relationship fixers and politicians should switch roles; to sort out who we are, who we love and when we knew we loved them (or not). We could do focus groups to find out how someone would respond, conduct opinion polls and interview man-in-street to find answers - then panels of expert talking heads could analyze it into mind-numb submission.
I’ve no regret about my decisions, but since they are deeply rooted inside me somewhere, I try to understand them. This is, I think, my time for knowing, a time for feeling. When we work on something with someone, we are like two trains, on tracks en route to a destination. We don’t need to run on time, or at the same speed; we just need to avoid train wrecks.
Mark Kolke
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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to musing@maxcomm.ca
January 28 Responses
January 28 – PLANTING SEEDS – "I get an impression some people feel little or nothing, or maybe it's easier for them to keep it inside where no one sees it. But, how can we know life, unless we feel something?" I've felt the same sentiment far too often. When I meet the "living dead". People who appear to go about the day with actions similar to a zombie or machine. Their eyes show they "died" long ago. They appear to feel/show nothing. They encourage death to hasten to them, because then they could "be" the way they "feel". When my favorite uncle was nearing death from cancer, he stopped complaining about the politicians, the neighbors, the doctors, the radio announcers, the newspaper editors etc. etc. Everyone he sharply criticized on a daily basis. He stopped feeling emotions. He stopped caring. When he stopped "feeling/caring" ........I knew hew would soon be gone. To live life is to feel life. Why would want not want to allow that opportunity for themselves? , LAR,
January 28 – PLANTING SEEDS - "How can we know life unless we feel something?" I am not sure if feeling or emotion has anything to do with defining life. If I say "I feel great today" am I more alive than if I say "I feel lousy"? If joy and pleasure are kept in your "future" where is one's hope in now? This morning you may have found joy just watching the little Scottie and Gusta react. You may have found pleasure in that hot pot of coffee you drink to warm you and fire up those synapses before you begin to write. Some people feel joy and pleasure all day but are not aware of its presence unless it is monumental, different, new. It is as if it has to "arrive", big time, into consciousness in order to be. There are many joys and pleasures missed this way. Living from one new, different, monumental, moment to the next is not life...it is living in expectation of the next "arrival" and is the life of a yo-yo, LP, Wailuku, HI
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