today’s Musing written and published from south
Morning walk: -5C/22F, steady breeze continued from overnight but cooling off a bit; Gusta can’t quite figure out what I’ve got hanging from my ears (my new iPOD) as we took a new route this morning, for a change, the neighborhood sleeps . .
However a day goes, after some sleep, tomorrow DOES come.
Arriving each time we wake, we get to embrace each sunrise as a moment of joy. Or not.
I am responsible for my own happiness and that happiness mixes with exposure, emotions, aches. It pains in places not often known for hurting. Rawness, not physical, can’t be soothed with cream or lotion, doesn’t go away when pressed against heat, or cold. It just is.
I’m always storing things up in my mind, like three jars - labeled yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Questions. What are the right questions to pose, to answer? Armed with feeling, seeking - using ache path, in a hope to understand. Wondering produces, when least expected, profoundly enlightening experience. It has in the past. I trust it will again. It might show up today, or tomorrow. And, once learned, will be stored in yesterday.
Knowing is important. Feeling is important. Which matters most?
Wouldn’t it be great to use laws of physics to figure out people (and ourselves).
I’m fascinated the Newton figured out so much, as did Einstein, Hawking … to explain the universe to us, action/reaction of atoms, forces of gravity, energy, matter.
Actions/reactions, beginnings/endings, opinions and behaviors interest me, scare me; like walking a tightrope without a net; afraid of falling, but knowing I have to walk forward today, and tomorrow.
Yesterday . . where I store experience, mistakes, loss, pain, joy, successes and failures.
Today . . not a storage vessel. It is workspace for filling, leisure time for doing, time for rest, home of hope and fear, where aches are felt and angst hangs out – all in preparation for tomorrow.
Tomorrow … where I keep what is to come, where my dreams live, my imagination flourishes, not so much about dreams coming true, but in anticipation for great newness, the openings that follow closures, new beginnings that follow the past, joys. I do expect them. They will show up. Some days it won’t feel that way. On those days I’ll remind myself that they do.
Each day, some piece of tomorrow’s dreams arrives in my today jar. Each night, everything in the today jar that’s not used up or burnt up, moves into the yesterday jar.
In the yesterday jar, the freshest memories and most recent events sit on top – they’ve not settled yet, not adapted to their new storage place, not yet covered and surrounded by more things, words, experiences, …. there will be more, soon, to comfort the rough parts, the sore parts, the paining parts. That’s the way these things work.
Mark Kolke
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RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to musing@maxcomm.ca
December 28 Responses
December 28 – HARD TO SEE - I wish you peace as you travel your path. And I offer these words from John O'Donohue's blessing, "For Love in a Time of Conflict":". . . Now is the time . . . to be gracious, / To allow a kindness beyond thought and hurt,/ Reach out with sure hands / To take the chalice of your love, / And carry it carefully through this echoes waste/ Until this winter pilgrimage leads you/ Toward the gateway to spring.", MD,
December 28 – HARD TO SEE - After getting your message (re: meeting cancellation) and now reading your post, I see. I’m sorry this has come to pass – it too shall pass. As LP in Wailuku wrote yesterday, drive an hour, until the clothes dry or Elvis leaves the building and settle into where you’re at. As in all things, this is just another part of the path ahead we cannot see until we get there. It’s easy to see the past from today’s viewpoint. Not so easy to see the road ahead. And yet, that too shall become clear as you get to it. Breathe and let the moment pass into the next. As you wrote, you are both good people. The goodness doesn’t change, regardless of your proximity to each other. What changes is where you’re at. Breathe my friend and call me when you’re ready, LG, Calgary, AB
December 28 – HARD TO SEE – Between flts in Pearson. Today's column was full of respect for the relationship you shared; that honors who you were together. Was I the only one (beside PB) bothered by yesterday's column? Will be boarding the next flt in a few minutes. Travel has become work with all the rules and searches. I feel as if someone owes me a pay cheque!, CB, Calgary/Cincinnati
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