Mark Is Musing

BORROWED WORDS - Saturday June 26, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

note about music/video links – I find on Saturday and Sunday mornings I have time, and perhaps my readers do to, to listen to some music. I choose pieces I like that connect, in some way, to the subject matter or to my mood… hope you like them]

 

Morning walk: 11C/52F, sunny calm, lawnmower noise punctuates silence I’ve enjoyed since 3AM, party types quieted, newspaper deliveries began, morning is welcome . . . Gusta sniffed out location of domestic rabbit on the lamb – scaring both.

 

I have answered questions – about what I write, and why, what I hope to find and how – always inadequately I think; but I came across a quote by the great dancer Isadora Duncan, if ever there was a tortured spirit: ‘If I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it  . . ’

 

As I try to explain . . enjoy your coffee, and some great music: Steely Dan - Nineteen ,  Boz Scaggs - Lido Shuffle , Phoebe Snow - Poetry Man ,  Rita Coolidge - We're All Alone ,  Bread - Guitar Man ,  Gordon Lightfoot - Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald ,  Compay Segundo - Chan Chan ,  Buena vista social club – Clocks ,  Debussy’s  Clair de Lune,  Ravel’s Bolero

 

To hold some moment, in our hand, impossible physics, as it is emotional  or spiritual pursuit – like trying to grab wisps of smoke with our hands, catch sound waves with tongue antennae,  or feel power of flowing water by looking at it – to imagine as we might imagine soaking up atmosphere as a parched sponge would, sights and sounds that go with . . . feeling breeze on arm hairs, finger tip touch reaching out to meet me . . .

 

What Ravel reveals stirs mind as much as loin, stirs pot, stirs mix - belly angst and backbone stiffener – inspires wish for powder potion to slip into drinks that brings us to that crescendo, better yet – one to keep us there.

 

When we start to understand something, or someone, really well – we get less anxious about everything; for me, anyway, that’s how it feels – whether looking forward to next great adventure,  back at the last one,  or remembering my imagination of the one that never was but it seemed so real in my great imagination . . .

 

Being right feels good, being clear feels even better – wanting, aching – so much better than not having something to want, or to ache for.

 

Silence of vocal chords, the silence of being alone in the room with no one to talk to, when conversations or worse than one-way, they are only my way, there is no debate or spirit, no edge, no angst, no laughter, no spirit, no touch, touché, no touch her – the life of a solitary man is worse than lonely, because he can fix that with noise and people, with a dog and with music, with activity . . . the illusion of not being alone is maintained, however faintly, for a while and then it all goes back to where it was, where it is, and where it might get stuck.

 

I’ve borrowed words that say, better than me, what my heart aches to spill out - I often think of ways to help keep the dream alive. I can only continue to be who I am and to continue to enjoy who you are.  Because who you are brings so much pleasure to my mind, my body and heart . . . borrowed words, borrowed time, waiting and dreaming; my knee says ouch, proves that bodies get creaky as we get older . . . yet all my life, as old as I grow, I’ll want to know what a man is, if left alone, what a woman is, if left alone; come to me, be here with me, be here at three, don’t leave till three, and come again at three – I won’t be ready, but I’ll be here . . .

 

The cure for this – condition of mind state – is not in a pill or cream, no potion or prescription, but the meeting and mating, of melding and welding, one life to another.  For now, I’ll while away time on other pursuits to distract my mind, or at least my body, so the energy has a place to go.  Take care, of your day and needs.  When you can respond you will, I know this.  

 

I'll be here when you're done.  Here, close, nearby.  When it comes to you, I am patient, I have found that you are worth it…

 

~~~

RAVEL - archived poetry

 

Preoccupation

reinvention

restyling

re-composing

in-compose-able

incomprehensible

movement

sounds pound

eardrum attacked

like scratches

on paper, rough quill

yields noise image

scripted, depicted

loud, proud

cadence moves

emotion round

and around

pumps blood

faster, faster

faster still

until body

moves, piques

reclines again

relaxation

fixation

preoccupation.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,484

212.0

 

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to:  dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 25 Comments

 

June 25 – NO SLIP BANANA – Mark, Congratulations.  You have my toast as a master of speak (as well as muse). No doubt your oratorical virtuosity is enhanced by your diurnal scrivening (and vice versa), KK, Calgary, AB

 

June 25 – NO SLIP BANANA - Did you catch any of the news re. the Wimbledon first-round match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut?  This was the longest Wimbledon tennis match ever at 11 hours, 5 minutes!  The winner's comment: "It stinks someone had to lose."  He obviously enjoyed the challenge of the match and at the end of the day, he savored the journey maybe more than the outcome.  To persist for three days to win reflects the tenacity that you exhibit towards your challenges. Your toastmaster's 5-1/2 years experience is especially commendable. I am one of those that came and then went, after 2-1/2 years. The Toastmaster's experience is A LOT of work...good for you!

 

 

June 25 – NO SLIP BANANA - Consider this...based on someone else’s work - a book, its title and its author’s name have not surfaced from my murky memory yet....  The concept is not mine.  I didn’t invent the words either, I merely arranged them, JW, Cochrane/Calgary, AB

 

Time is not linear

and it’s not all about  where the sun is,

when to leave for work,

when to go home,

when the moon comes up,

when to go to bed,

when, when, when.... 

It is a place, a dimension where all things ARE. 

It’s a place you visit in your dreams,

where you experience a  ‘virtual reality’

at some point in your here sleep –

sometimes you remember it,

sometimes you do not. 

It’s a place we can learn to visit

to find an alternate reality where,

if we are blind here,

there we still have sight. 

It’s a place where all versions of us exist

that have made alternate choices in their lives.

It’s a place where we can ‘borrow’ things temporarily. 

It’s a place where wonderful inventions exist now. 

It’s a place to visit when we “sleep on it”. 

It’s a place we strive to find by meditating. 

It’s a place where sanity,

or our reaction to the world around us,

morphs constantly.

Living there is too much for us,

so we visit.

How do I visit at will?

 

NO SLIP BANANA - Friday June 25, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 10C/50F, everything bathed, sunshine painting beautiful morning on earth’s canvas, no walk encounters - home for toasted yesterday’s French bread (4^th attempt; yet-to-be-acquired loaf-shaping skill deficient), reading papers, fresh caffeine filled veins, summer’s heat ‘tis here, another warm one at hand . .

 

Each unpleasant experience repeated that left me muttering, wondering what reminders I need to avoid trouble. Each pleasant one validates and erases all mutterings. Life has seasons, days of reason, nights of abandon – each leads, to another, busy blur, lucky me. 

 

Most Canadian men and overgrown boys, enjoy hockey metaphors. One that always confuses me, is ‘face-off’.  Two competitors, waiting for whistle’s start seems more like ‘face-on’ than face-off.  Like life’s challenges, contests, opportunities and spectacular times spent with friend or adversary, combatant or concubine – facing issues and each other is so much better, face-on.

 

I decide for me, as you decide for you; pointed out to me, again, recently, I am too public for some tastes, too open, too much, too often, too revealing, of my life.  Certainly I find it easier to open up than to cover up, easier to expose reality to view – than to obscure truth under guise of privacy alone.  But, privacy has it’s place; my boundaries are clear. Some things for being very open about, some for holding close and out of view.

 

I find it easier to talk about issues than specifics – sometimes I gape in awe - of great opportunities, narrow scrapes and spectacular escapes, these are the stuff of every day.  Every time we walk by a banana peel, we avoid tripping on convenient metaphors, but surely, you get my meaning – that every moment, once passed by, becomes component of my past – speed, trajectory, impossible to control.  Dangerous?  Sure, but better by far than sitting back, waiting for life to happen, or happen - breaks between busy spells always welcome. Easier (and better) than trying to invent a no-slip banana.

 

It seems slo-mo – earth turns, using clocks to break day in parts – sleeping parts, eating parts, many digestible segments.  Life, rushing at us.  We should all be standing at the front, like movie heroes at bow of a ship, letting wind hit us, face-on.

 

~~~

KNEAD DEEP - archived poetry

 

Early rising, fast rising

not just for roosters early

rousing up writers –

bread too, really swell

rises well, takes beating

down then – it rises again

then I take the live sticky

elastic doughy thing

I create bread – alive bread

my bread, just right

for tasting, for toasting

every  day, food I made

is ready to sustain me

after it’s done its baking

after the mixing and

kneading and early rising.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,508

211.4

 

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

June 24 Comments

 

June 24 – THANKS AJ - Congratulations on your recent recognition, well deserved. What kind of pie did you have with your breakfast? Yum!!!, SK, Dallas, TX

June 24 – THANKS AJ - Congratulations  Mark on your Toastmaster's Awards!  I am sure you are most deserving and put a lot of effort into the group.  SR, Calgary, AB

 

June 24 – THANKS AJ - Congratulations on your awards; I know that, in your mind, your competition is yourself and your contributions to the organization are altruistic and well considered.  The voting group is looking brilliant! Hope you're well and have found a spring fling for 2010, VJP, DeWinton, AB

 

June 24 – THANKS AJ – Aloha, Mark, Just a short email to tell you that I would very much enjoy staying in touch, and to share a bit.   I'll write more, later, when time permits. I need to get ready to take my car in...nothing big wrong, I hope ;)  I really enjoyed this part of the quote you noted in your post of yesterday:  Fate is left at the shaking hands of our imaginations.  It made me think that the fate of two people, as in a couple, is truly left at their combined hands...  Well...gotta run...get some tea, breakfast, and the car into Hilo..., With aloha, GK, Honokaa, HI 

 

THANKS AJ - Thursday June 24, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 12C/54F, calm and lower humidity – a sense of feeling hot first thing in the morning is one of my most enjoyable and memorable elements of summer . . which suggest a hot day and hot night will follow; Gusta met two new friends, a spaniel type in a previously dog-less yard and a Doberman pup with a full-grown bark in its imagination.

 

Consider this proposition . . .

 

Unexpected reversals of direction, thinking and actions – produce ‘amazing’ if we let them – to stop instead of go, to stand up for something rather than sit on it, to yelling on the outside instead of screaming on the inside, to have something to say about something instead of having nothing to say about everything.

 

When you least expect it, a small action will have a major impact on your life.  Can you imagine how many more opportunities we might find like that if we were actually looking for them - rather than just having them show up?

 

Sometimes, we don’t have to figure out anything – we just need to show up.  For work, for play, for friends, for strangers, for your community, for the world – all you need to so sometimes, to do the best work and the most good – is to just show up.

 

Wednesday nights, for the past 5 ½ years, I’ve spent at Toastmasters; last night was our annual pot-luck BBQ gathering, not about speeches but about being social and hanging out with our friends – the dynamics feeling more like a mix between a family gathering and summer camp …. where the best rewards come in small moments with people who, not very long ago, were complete strangers but how they are now indispensable friends who simply show up on a regular basis.

 

About six years ago, an email arrived in my in-box from AJ. It invited replies, from those interested, in forming a singles Toastmasters group.  I thought . . . sure, Toastmasters, I’ve heard of that; I thought, hmmm, singles . . . hmmm . . that could be fun, so I said sure, yes, sign me up, count me in, yup, yo, you bet, uh-huh. Soon, months had slipped by – then, one day another e-mail, ‘come to an organizational meeting’ it said. I went. I went back. Again and again. I brought friends. Others brought friends.  Over time, lots of friends have come, and gone. A core group of stalwarts have remained.

 

My point this morning, is that an eclectic group of strangers gathered, not knowing what they were doing, not knowing each other – but wanting to say ‘uh-huh’ to something which would, regardless of their reason for showing up, change their lives.

 

I won a couple of awards this year (Toastmaster of the Year and Most Contributing Member for my club) of which I am very proud. They acknowledge me and validate what I know to be true – that my friends and fellow Toastmasters have helped me along the way to become a better speaker, a better listener, a better evaluator, a better leader, a better writer and a better person; thanks AJ.

 

Sunny - describes my disposition – though not a single problem got solved overnight, not one obstacle removed from my path – yet the therapeutic value of a good night’s sleep, pie for breakfast and hot coffee is hard to top.

 

~~~

ONLY ONES - archived poetry

 

Beginning, sense of

arrival, sense of 

jumping off

to new place from

old place, seeing

new face

born of actions

otherwise

not created

like a child one

anticipates

only to watch

to see when  

nurturing ends

it takes on a

life of its own

direction,

all its own,

trajectory

and route

wanting

to fly high

straight

and true, it

one day lands

in a place

called

destination –

creators

looking back,

say it was good

because

they are

only ones

who care

only ones

who matter.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,532

213.8

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 23 Comments

 

June 23 – IT IS ALWAYS YOUR MOVE – Am still here and have been enjoying your musings...so many thoughts of which I share, particularly today's referencing "proactive attitude/acts". I share your thoughts in so many ways as do other readers.  You are very, very talented, SY, Honolulu, HI

 

June 23 – IT IS ALWAYS YOUR MOVE - When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. - Audre Lorde , Just subscribed for the second time, VD, Oakland, CA

 

June 23 – IT IS ALWAYS YOUR MOVE - for yr library of quotes: The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim, JW, Calgary/Cochrane, AB

 

 

IT IS ALWAYS YOUR MOVE - Wednesday June 23, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 10C/50F, cloudless, calm – Gusta is doing the soggy happy dance, enjoying all the wet grass and snacking on fresh shoots . . last night’s thunderstorm left dampness in it’s wake, everywhere we walk is saturated.

 

‘Behind closed eyes, colors fade and blend into beautiful new creations. Fate is left at the shaking hands of our imaginations. Places new and amazing, faces remain unseen. How, then, does our heart feel as if racing in anticipation of a dream?’ - unknown

 

Tactics – to deal with objective, adversary, quest or cause, friend or colleague – is where strategy is supposed to trump objections, planning to overcome obstacles and execution should pave way, roll red carpet out, to receive the arrival of desired results.  I have come to believe (OK, it took me a couple of decades, but I got there) tactics, in terms of strategy, have no place in friendships, or love affairs, or families. Predicting or plotting a result – kept as private agenda – never, ever, works because it is not rooted in a loving act or caring action.

 

That said . . .

 

Living life is either a - proactive, or reactive – process. And, it seems to me, we cannot have it or live it both ways; choice separates us, one type from another - clearly, as we make a decision to consume time, or to let it consume us.

 

I believe, for me: IT IS ALWAYS YOUR MOVE … that phrase, programmed into my computer’s screen saver, so if my keyboard and mouse are idle for two minutes, that message starts its toggle-wobble of simmering silver graphic against black background, floating until I touch a key, then vanishes. Sometimes I just sit there, waiting two more minutes to see it again.

 

It reminds me, no one else actions anything in my life. Sure, people do things, say things, call or write – every day, that’s the norm.  What I choose to do, more these days than ever before, is not wait for the actions of others to trigger my reaction to them, but to take a step, the first step, the next step . . . when the whole world is silent it’s my turn, for my move . . . it is always my turn.

 

The wise counsel – caring support of old (meaning long standing) friend does not possess greater value than insight of new friend – but wisdom in it, best conveyed by any friend, is one of respecting us, and still caring, on days when we get weird or pass quick judgment on something that should have been less hasty.

 

The best laid plans . . . do not usually lead to getting laid – that one I know all too well; the best ideas seem to come in through my window with the cricket sounds at 3AM, and flit out again, just as quickly.  Ideas, like love and tactics – come and go, and when all is done, it is my move, still.

 

Sure, I want to live a huge long great life – but I might not get to choose my best before date, so I’ll keep reminding me that it is always my move, my turn, my step, my next action that is the most important thing for me to do – and in that way, I’ll never be found sitting on my tuches waiting for someone else to say or do something or to grant some blessing to allow me to do what I am aimed to be doing.  This was true the day I was born. It has not changed, only my view and understanding of it has shifted, like time does from a pile of sand to the grains speeding through the pinch point of the hourglass.

 

Few things, I imagine more sad or destructive than a life not lived, than love not given, than our ideas, hopes and assumptions not tested.

 

Well, what are you waiting for?

~~~

BACK AGAINST THE FAUCET - archived poetry

 

At the end of the day,

defining

expectations  

fullest

life experience,

describes what

success looks like

to a blind man,

sounds like

to a deaf man

how it feels

to a man with

no feeling –  

collage

in my mind

a record

of my times

when good

deeds, great

ideas and

spectacular

mistakes

combine,

they’ve made

me - and then

candle-lit comfort

a good soak

a good laugh

good company of

a good woman

in a hot bath,

at the end of the day.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,556

213.8

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 22 – PATH SEARCH –

we  have coffee together every morning.

you and i

a fresh cup of coffee

a good friend

rich thoughts and fabulous possibilities for the day

 

and

 

then I read your last word &

we are again

countries apart

 

until the sun rises tomorrow

when I'll  turn my computer on

and your words return.

 

, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

June 22 – PATH SEARCH - Your ability to hibernate, to step back and reflect takes discipline and, a belief that in the end, you will be better for it.  People close to me have encouraged me to do the same.  And, by doing so there may be room for great things to happen.  In the darkness, one is more able to see the light, JK, Kailua, HI

PATH SEARCH - Tuesday June 22, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 13C/55F, patchy sky (thunderstorms coming), a quick sprint ahead of the rain, I have to run to an early meeting . . Gusta missed a near-bunny encounter by inches, her eyes weren’t working and her nose was focused on some strong scent on the ground nearby. It was funny, focused so hard on something desirable yet missing something so obvious.

 

Much reflection in recent days . . . I’m less confused and more ‘stop, take stock, see things as they really are’, or maybe I’m just hibernating.

 

Life is long – so very long – years and years, decades upon decades to go, much to do, so many things to plan. I can’t be short-sighted, focusing only on here, now, tomorrow or next week.

 

Assumptions are stupid, decisions matter far less than reactions – not because decisions aren’t rational, but because they are.  Give me life where emotion rules. I may not live long or be rich but I’ll be happy.

 

‘Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart?  If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn’t, it is of no use.’ – Carlos Castenada

 

Last night (year’s shortest), thinking about length of day and darkness of night – daylight has nothing to do with feelings we carry in our belly; they don’t react to light and dark but they certainly sense hot or cold; currently running cold for me.

 

Sometimes an offer is good.  Sometimes an offer is worth rejecting, and counter-offers should get us closer to closing a deal - but the old cliché, that sometimes the first offer is the best offer holds true in many things.  Acceptance of an offer is not a good thing and rejection of a proposition can sometimes be the best turn of events. In either case, path is altered, plan is changed, past fits a new perspective, lit by the event - the path is lit with a new flame made more of cold light than hot . .

 

Somewhere, out there, is my path - not straight or well marked; it’s route can only be seen looking back, turns and twists only known in retrospect.  Next turn – real turn – may be something I don’t understand until five turns later; in a way, like a chess match of many moves.

 

Always, it seems, there will be darkness before light arrives - and each night, another dose of dark but no solution to come with it.  Wandering, in the dark, without a light in search of a path – will, one day, lead to a dawning moment. I’ve been walking for years without feeling lost – for the most part – but some puddles have just pulled me in . . .

 

 

 

I thought I was on a path I knew - why did you go, away; why did you disappear from view . . . elusive like hazy fog at twilight, where did you go – or were you really here? 

~~~

SUMMER HEAT - archived poetry

 

Hearts

need it,

protection

in so many

forms; one is

hunkering

down – the  

hibernation

mode – the

other blossoms

like a flower

when wide grins

on great babes

light the day

and light up

the night

in a glow

that keeps

heat going

all winter

long.

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,580

214.6

 

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 21 Comments

 

June 21 - WITHOUT DISTRACTION – Mark, just wanted you to know I've been emailing some of your poems to my psychotherapy patients who are trying to make significant changes in their lives and it is making a difference in their perception, helping them to try on a different lens. Poetry breaks from normal narrative in our heads, often giving the gift of an 'aha' moment. Thanks for making a ripple in life's pond.  I like today's poem and I'm still waiting for the big surprise of a smile wider than mine, SW, Coeur d'Alene, ID

 

June 21 - WITHOUT DISTRACTION - So enjoyed your poem 'Alert' as well as your column about a lifted spirit. I wish it wasn't so hard to experience that 'levity' as opposed to the more typical 'gravity' but on reading your piece I'm reminded that so much of life is a practice - we can practice levity, as you say, and perhaps it will become second nature eventually, WE, Alford, MA

WITHOUT DISTRACTION - Monday June 21, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 9C/48F, clear, calm; our exercise uneventful until Gusta discovered a lap dog wearing one of those lamp-shade type protective collars which Gusta has never seen before – that little thing barked like it was a hundred pounds, so we just moved along, leaving that little lion to roar in its backyard kingdom.

 

It was a happy father’s day; in addition to numerous readers sending kind wishes (thank you), I had calls from both daughters, dinner (roast chicken, roast vegetables, apple pie) with my dad, got some work done, read some, watched U.S. Open golf some . . . and sorted out some issues, I hope, with a dear friend. It was a good day.  

 

Starting a day, a week, a season seems such an auspicious moment – welcome summer Monday – worthy of a respectful pause and some thought about our purpose, methods and expectations without distraction.

 

How do we(I mean you!) start this week, this summer season with a sense of purpose that will lead to accomplishment, enjoyment and a satisfied feeling?

 

Distractions affect our vision, hearing and spirit; we can focus our vision and tune out the noise, but what about our spirit?  There seem to be distractions and distortions everywhere.  In being alert and watching for so many opportunities, we are more effective when we focus on what drives our spirit. 

 

Spirits get lifted, or let down; get supported or dashed on rocks. What we do consciously seems to have so little to do with that.

 

I think the problem, if it is a problem, of protecting our spirit from outside forces is more easily addressed if the inside forces of spirit are strong, stronger than those outside forces. 

 

It seems to me that: the resolve button, the sense of purpose button, the thrill button and the living life with purpose button …. all need to be set to the full ON position, because then there is nothing that can get in our way, those adverse and negative forces on spirit cannot affect us in any measurable way.  If we are into pushing buttons, those are the ones we should push . . . to ON.

 

I think we get ready for this every day – with the attitude we bring to our tasks and efforts, to the person we bring into the room at every meeting . . .

 

Try this; do it for yourself, but if you can’t, then do it for me.

Each time you say hello to someone or walk into a meeting today – take some ‘first day of summer’ with you . . .

 

Living with or without a lifted spirit is more obvious than the clothes we wear or car we drive – it shows the world whether we are in an undesirable situation, or on a journey of joyous living. You know it’s true. You see it on everyone else, so don’t think they don’t see it on you!

 

~~~

ALERT - archived poetry

Getting used to it again, this living alone takes

getting used to; wish I wasn’t doing so much

of this getting used to as I consider

reaching out - to wonder if or

when I will find love or if,

when I am not looking –

love will find me,  just

come up to smack me

on the head some

day, just when

someone’s

smile is

wider

than

mine

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,604

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 20 Comments

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES – Your reference to the efforts of grandparents having a "second chance", realizing what they may have missed was so poignant and relevant to our Hawaii culture. It is VERY COMMON here to see grandparents raising their grandchildren, and in many cases, they did not truly raise their own children, as their parents did. I never thought about this in terms of this being their "second chance". When, however, a "second chance" is not presented thru grandchildren, your concept that "it is never too late to re-look, re-think, re-try" is very insightful.  There is the thinking, then the important doing phase, and you are a great motivator "Dr. Mark"...thank you for always sharing, SY, Honolulu, HI

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES - Great poem, Mark. True, clean, with a happy ending. May your life continue too as the poem is, FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES - Hi Mark, First of all, Happy Father's Day! :)  Hope you're doing something fun & your life ---in how much you matter to your children---is being celebrated today. Enjoy!, PF, Honolulu, HI

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES - It has been many years since I had a father, but one of daughters took me out to lunch today. Another one called me from her home in Vancouver. Yes, my four surviving children have done well for themselves, managing to get good educations without my help, as I did without my parents' help (that is not to say that it should be so. In fact, I think I shirked my duty there) I have many regrets about my shortcomings as a father that I can do nothing about now.....the deeds are done, or not done....but I do not dwell on them. I praise the successes of my children. And so it goes for another year, EG, Calgary, AB

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES - Hope your dinner with your Father is memorable! You are such a sweet writer, a very thoughtful person, and I am sure a really nice friend. Cool and cloudy today so it is a good day to catch up with office stuff. My grandson is zzzzzzzzzing just now and I have him overnight tonight.  We just played soccer in the field (so much fun) and visited a real bunny rabbit who lives next door. All the best, AF, Vancouver, BC

 

June 20 - SECOND CHANCES - Hope you had a nice father's day before it becomes summer solstice (I  have 20 minutes here in Hawaii before it's the 21st!).  Parenting.  We could all do it differently.  Better?  Who's to say.  All we can do is  be the best parent we can be today.  And, somehow my boys know that I am and love me for that. As far as picking fruit and vegetables, interesting analogy, and I  tend to agree, sometimes I exercise more discretion with fruits than  the breathing, living kind of choices.  Whoa!!!  Wait a minute.  I know better.  So do better.  Thanks for pointing this out, JK, Kailua, HI

 

SECOND CHANCES - Sunday June 20, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 9C/48F, calm in glorious sunshine – Gusta enjoyed the tall damp grass around the lagoon where the bird sounds were nearly deafening (cross between endless dinging casino machines / stadium of vuvuzelas) . . 

 

Last night – walking along the ridge, overlooking rain and runoff swollen Bow, pushing her banks to the limit as many prairie rivers are bursting this weekend, it was eerie sight, mountain views morphed to twilight on 2^nd shortest night of the year, rosy tinted sky moving from W-NW to N to NE …. so quiet, powerful; spring ends, summer solstice arrives tomorrow at 7:28EDT.

 

Today, 4^th afternoon in a row, I’ll be torn between getting outside vis-à-vis watching US Open golf on TV …. and again, golf will win.  I won’t be idle; roasting a chicken to take to my dad’s for Father’s Day Dinner … and visit with him.

 

There is a time, I’m sure - every father must wonder what he got himself into – whether or not he has shown his children the right values, a credible example or offered the best form of advice. Being a father, or having one, is something we take for granted too often – a day to day thing, every day thing, without thinking - we just ARE fathers, and HAVE fathers. There is not thinking about it, it just is that way.

 

This day, once a year, shines light on these fundamental relationships.  What happens, for me, is that the many fine times and successes I remember get overshadowed in my mind by thoughts about where I came up short, fell short or left my kids short-changed because I was not there for them in ways I could have been, should have been. 

 

Looking back, most things I could have done weren’t all that hard, if I’d only seen them, if my head hadn’t been up my ass at the time. Looking back is clear. Looking forward is a choice, of being open to being better in the role; or, of just marking time till the next card-event holiday. I’d like to be better at the first kind.

 

My hope is that my children will be better parents than I was; not to say I was bad – I wasn’t; but I know I was only a portion of what I could have been if I’d given it my effort.

 

Missed opportunities are opportunities not explored - once they’re gone, we never get them back. Or, maybe that explains efforts of grandparents, realizing what they’ve missed – being given second chances, or for those who missed out completely, a first chance all over again. I believe, for all of us, it is never too late to re-look, re-think, re-try.

 

~~~

RIPE - archived poetry

 

At store, or

in a market

we pick fruit

or tomatoes

with care – we

turn them over

check them

leave bruised

ones, over-ripe

ones and

damaged ones

too – set aside

and left behind,

taking

only the best

home with us;

but when

we pick people

most are bruised

damaged

in some way -

we pick them

anyway,

love them

anyway

don’t worry

about their

bruises

their flaws

yet so often –

when we are

picked

we don’t

see ourselves

worthy

of the picking

don’t

see ourselves

measuring up

to some

imaginary standard,

sometimes

someone

just thought

we were nice

and right

for pickin’

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,628

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 19 Comments

 

June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? – I really always enjoy the pieces by Frances Ort.  I gather that you are deeply attached to her.  She sounds like a splendid person. MAD, Kingston, ON

 

June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - Hey Mark.  I just tried to use the link to the "World's Best News Service" and it did not work.  It came up "Page not found".  Just thought I'd let you know, CR, Calgary, AB

 

June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? -  You must know that I am able to see you clearly, Mark, because I respect that part of you more so than perhaps any other part of you. Why? Because that is 'the real Mark' shining thru. And so rare, that a man, is so clearly able to go there. To use a medium such as the craft of writing, to be able to articulate what you are feelings, sensing into words & then actually type them out before you become too afraid to do so, means a lot to me---although I suspect it means a lot to all who read you. Mark, it's a real accomplishment that you are able to give your pain 'life' enabling someone else to experience a healing & release, by opening up & 'letting it all go' to give it all to the universe allowing a solid outlet, show that your ability to 'write with such feeling & emotion' is unlimited so long as you are still 'feeling the pain & joy' of living that apparently you do so very deeply, passionately. Everyday, Mark, I read you, and what you write 'daily' tends to touch me so deeply, (because I am able to feel you----do you understand what I am saying to you? I feel your pain & your joy Mark, and it's personal) & for the life of me, I don't understand why that is----therefore, I know it is spiritual. Mark, from the first time I read you, I thought to myself, this man is 'so incredibly deep', passionate, stirring, almost scarily so.  But I know that is a trait, a characteristic that I admire, that I relate to, that I find real.  I am proud of you, for allowing yourself to vomit upon the page what you feel deep within your heart, soul, mind & body.  I wish you a glorious & very Happy Father's Day! Be safe and have fun. Aloha hugs and love, PF, Honolulu, HI

 

June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? -  good morning Mark... Happy Father's Day... hope your kids treat you well...and are you seeing your dad?  Re:sabbatical - yes sometimes I just feel like it is best to "give up" but not really, and learn to LOVE the singles life. You have lots to offer, and I am positive that the universe will bring the right lady at the right time. I think it is important to not close off and keep that amazing heart open for opportunity ... my kids tell me to stop trying so hard!! :)  I continue to enjoy your musings...thanks for introducing me to them.  Have a great day and happy writing, DG, Edmonton, AB

 

June 19 - HELLO, MAY I COME IN? -   I am happily busy, but not so very very busy as before  - I am settled in my new place, loving it, loving life, playing golf and tennis, working and keeping fit. Enjoying your writings from time to time - admittedly don't read them every day but really enjoy them when I do read them so please don't write me out of the pleasure. Hope you are well and Happy Father's Day, AF, Vancouver, BC

 

HELLO, MAY I COME IN? - Saturday June 19, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 8C/46F, light breeze in sunshine, Gusta happy romping while I lope behind just happy not to be wearing rain gear for a change . . .

 

Lazy newspaper reading, coffee guzzling, toast munching morn – no alarm, no rush to rise, nobody there to greet me . . . and some brownies left by last night’s dinner guest. Thanks SB.

 

Sometimes . . .

 

I get tired of my path – not because it is a bad path. I just want to change the conversation; whether it is business or organization stuff, old-friends stuff, new friends, dating misadventures, writing collaborations - in each corner, especially the dimly lit ones, of my life, I want to change the conversation.   Why should friends only talk about their common-bonds, only dwell on reasons they are friends? So much more to explore . . . with everyone we know, and even more with people we don’t.

 

Why do people who do business, only want to do business – when knowing each other on another plane might open connections, idea-mingle/mangle, enlightening lightning that might make differences to them, or someone?

 

Why do strangers remain that - why aren’t they beating pathways to my door?  Of course, if I’m not beating a path to theirs, so why should they reciprocate in advance?

 

My door, your door – across street or planet, deserve knocks of some sort – saying ‘hello, may I come in . . . . ’

 

‘may I enter your life . .. , may I impact your point of view, your feelings, your set of experiences . . ?’

 

‘please, let me in . . . I want to know you, need to know you ..’

 

Most of us, faced with these questions from a complete stranger would treat them like the door-to-door guerilla-evangelistas who ring Saturday morning doorbells. We close doors (or slam) on them, shut people (or ideas) out, without examining them at all - like changing direction, or resisting change, simply because we believe some cliché, or headline as truth simply because someone deserving big type said it. Question remains, do we have some obligation to anyone/group/class/people or ourselves to explore anyone?  Answer – no. 

 

But, if you answer no, what value do you bring to any conversation, to your fellow citizens or to life?  I suppose, you might be valuable for a talent, skill or idea we need – but what value would your life have if nobody wanted to know you?

 

But I digress.  Yes, I want to change the conversation - inspire people to consider spontaneity as a key that opens the lock of knowing what we want.  I believe we will all find, if we reject people because of one thing we don't like, or something we don’t understand without having ever met them half-way, spoken with them - that you will miss most of the good ones worth knowing.

 

If some person, not the most powerful in the world … but the most powerful influence in your life … knocked on your door, would you answer, would you welcome them in? 

 

I wonder, how many people who espouse belief systems we might identify:  liberal, conservative, Christian, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, socialist, libertarian, atheist, scientist - if we would open our door to them. If Mohammed, Einstein, Christ, or Goethe rang your doorbell on a Friday night or Saturday morning, would you invite them in for coffee?  Well, what if they didn’t answer to those names or look like them?  Or, what if you were knocking on their door?  Catch my drift . …?

 

OK, stay with me now,  consider this:  someone who needed and wanted love, to give and to get, to smile and be smiled upon, to meet someone halfway, to share, to care . . . if that person showed up at your door, would you open it? Would you let them in?

 

Or, would you say ‘no thanks, not interested’ as you close the door only to see that person trundle off to some other door, to the next knock, the next door slam . . .

 

My point, whichever side of the door you find yourself on most often – is that there need not be a door, a knock or a slam.  The barriers to connection are not contained in a door or a ding-dong sound, they are not in our head either. They are in our invisible feelings/fearings that nobody sees, nobody touches . . .

 

Those invisibles are what we need to connect with.  It is not a settling or compromise of any kind, it is finally waking up to see what is so obvious and embracing it.

 

~~~

INVISIBLE FORCES - archived poetry

 

Some things

live only in our mind

aren’t real

can’t be touched

with fingers

weighed with scales

or captured

in photos – ideas

and disappointments

for instance

have no mass

contain no matter

have no weight

yet these

invisible forces

stronger

in their gravity

their energy

production or

sapping our drive. 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,652

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 18 Comments

 

June 18 - UNDERSTANDING WHY – Guess you're walking Gusta.  I liked your comment yesterday that the critic hasn't gone away and the pessimist hasn't stopped pessimizing!  In high school English class I used to get criticized for "coining words" and probably some of my "coins" are now part of the English dictionary!  Have a good day, SY, Honolulu, HI

June 18 - UNDERSTANDING WHY -  Aloha Mark, First of all, I am on the mend---feeling better one day, and less so the next---sort of like that cliche', two steps forward and three steps back---eventually, we arrive. :) I must tell you that I adore your dailies. I was writing daily posts on my website---but since it's been difficult to sit---I have been writing them about every 3 days. I find your postings, inspirational, deep, philosophical, & oh so thought provoking, emotional, and trendy with everyday sitings of daily operations, churning ho hum hum drum into something to ponder that is simply 'so much fun'. Love it, love them and love you. Thank you for introducing me to Frances. Like her posts on 360boom e-magazine.  And I do wish you a great father's day weekend, with your family. Thank you again for keeping me on your mailing list and continuing to write everyday, you are such a blessing. Aloha blessings, PF, Honolulu, HI

 

June 18 - UNDERSTANDING WHY -  I read your column with great interest.  Not because it  is something I consider doing, but something I do everyday.  I open my  heart to all kinds of people and am delighted by what they give me in return.  One of the dearest people at work is Marie, the Janitor.  She empties my trash twice a day and one day I shared with her as an  equal.  I told her that I am doing the work that of a former subordinate of mine and as a result I really appreciate what she did  on a day-to-day basis.  I told her I wanted to call her up and tell  her so.  The next day there was a treat on my desk - a boiled egg  wrapped in a paper towel with a smiley face drawn on the towel.  She knew I liked boiled eggs in the morning and often the store next door to where I work does not have any because she buys them all up.  She  continues to do little things like this for me, and I do for her.  She is not someone I would pick out as having such a special relationship, but here she is - a gift. So, open your heart and be right sized because we are all people,  people among people.  Who am I to judge?, JK, Kailua, HI

UNDERSTANDING WHY - Friday June 18, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 11C/52F, mountains visible, bathed in sunshine, on the horizon; light overcast, warming up . . woo-hoo . .it might be a nice weekend, Gusta sniffing something strange she can’t see (possibly the coyote I saw yesterday) as we walked late, neighborhood quiet as the early rush is over, everyone’s gone off to work . . .

 

Every day we do things – but do we ever pause to ask, what is the reason, why do we do it?  Whoever we are, unless we are newborns or at the very other end of life, shouldn’t there be a reason?

 

Understanding why a writer writes, a painter paints or a singer sings – is to appreciate something that is part artful expression of who we are, part exercise of a talent and to no small degree, performing for those who might appreciate the effort, talent and message.

 

Each day – like canvas – each page commands originality; something originally, and worthy of investing ink and time, for writer and reader.  If a message is unclear or point not valuable – why do it?  What we do, we do for a purpose or for someone  - don’t we?

 

In other pursuits, sometimes I wonder, where is the motivation for floor sweepers, box schleppers or moronic telemarketers? Are they not potential artists, sculptors or authors too?  I have no need to appreciate grit-groty stuff – but rather something considering.

 

Perhaps to spur an action, or inspire someone to use an kinder word when ordinarily an unkind one would do – or maybe to have us see someone . . . perhaps of low-station in life, see that person more purely as someone worthy in ways we’ll never know, someone who pulls weeds from their garden as well as their neighbor, someone who deals with their messes of life, who has/endures/celebrates tragedies and joys of life – as much as the next person.

 

The next person . . . or my dear friend; each time we connect with someone, talk to someone, shake a hand or nudge shoulders, we find them.

 

The next person I meet, the next person I talk to, the next person in line at the check-out, the next person . . . is no better than me, surely they are not, but then they are not less than me either.  We all have value, so why don’t we see it?

 

From the most mundane routines of domestication or the routines of work-a-day droll, there has to be a reason.  Do we do it just for a paycheck, is it just a vehicle to get their daily bread and pay rent?  Of is there a purpose that causes us to do our thing, one thing – career, job, business, venture – that is identifiably ‘the reason’ that we do it?

 

High-points for me last evening: bread making (French bread, 3^rd time’s the charm) last night was spectacular après-game (Celtics lost NBA 7^th game of series to Lakers) activity – though indigestion this morning suggests I ate too much of it . . . and editing sweet piece by my dear friend Frances and posting it on 360boom – check out THE DARKER SIDE OF GECKOS which I recommend you read - you’ll learn more about people than about lizards.

 

 

~~~

OR NOT - archived poetry

 

Change of thinking,

heart, plans or directions,

in my experience,

emerge and submerge,

ebb, then flow based on

beating pace of heart

or heat of two hearts

in sync or not

aligned or not

for life or not

like a damsel waiting

for her knight or not

night after night

or not, dreaming he

might be some kind of

Lancelot, or not.

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,676

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 17 Comments

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE – I really like your quote 'art must take reality by surprise". Reality is your rock to sculpt. You are what you love, not what loves you, and you love your writing.  You are first a writer and in so doing, are a sculptor of reality...that is how I see your musings which give your readers an avenue to give thought to their lives.  SY Honolulu, HI

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE - Good morning soggy Calgary.  When I worked in the tourist industry, they visitors would get so offended if it dared to rain during their one sacred week of vacation.  I would happily tell them that these islands must have the rain to continue to be gorgeous, green tropical jewels. They just continued to look annoyed.  Let it rain at a more convenient time, they said.  A time when it wasn't their vacation.  Maybe the sun, in Calgary, will come out next month? FO, Kaunakakai, HI

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE – I love how the placement of the comma (Take Me, By Surprise as opposed to Take Me By Surprise) changes the meaning – very you!!!!, SB, Calgary, AB 

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE - Couldn’t resist telling you how much I enjoyed ‘Lagoon Reality’. As for the rest, by a certain age “...sabotaging themselves without need to ...Silence. Ignoring/avoiding.  Disconnecting. Running from it.....”  Sabotage in the form of silence, ignoring/avoiding, disconnecting, running from it are perfect ways to handle those situations that obviously will not contribute positively or at all, especially when there is so much that already does. Yes, and I know you already know that. JW – Calgary/Cochrane

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE - I just got a chance to check emails etc. was intrigued by your musings today.  Referring to the comment about standing on the edge waiting for a wink or a wave from life and wanting to be startled by it, also referring to the voices of pessimism and criticism which continually chat in our heads - what happens if you just jump in?  startling for sure, sometimes the shock our unexpected dive into the life that sits in front us makes the voices stop altogether in sheer surprise.  in those moments when they hush are the moments when our true essence dares to poke its head out and who knows what will happen! the startling moments just continue. Hope you are getting in some golfing weather, DL, Calgary, AB (on a trip to NC)

 

June 17 - TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE - Waiting for your wave; It seems that I have had no time to stop, no time to pause, no time to listen.  I'll miss that wave if I don't stop.  Thank you for checking on me because I have been missing my daily musings.  I don't want to  disconnect, because I connect with so much of what you write, JK, Honolulu, HI  …. P.S.:  I read your Sunday Musings and was captivated by your music selections.  They all had me ponder about my own smallness in the context of greatness.  Thank you for sharing these links. So, when I read about your stupid pride, it made me think how living  on an island has changed me.  I used to say and do things without much  regard for consequences until I moved to an island.  Even though we have close to a million people here, there is a good chance you will run into someone so don't "burn bridges."  There are not many times I turn the other way when I see people because of past behaviors.  When  I have spoken rudely or abruptly, I simply own up to my part in a  situation and make an amends.  It is a truly amazing way of living  that I did not have a clue about 7 years ago. Now I can go to bed knowing I didn't miss out on your struggles,  insights and wisdom.  I was just behind, but now I am present.

 

TAKE ME, BY SURPRISE - Thursday June 17, 2010

today’s Musing  written and published from Cranston in south- east  Calgary, near the Bow River valley

 

Morning walk: 9C/48F, drizzling stopped – it is now just a steady rain, walk short, dog wet, spring in Calgary is starting to feel like a Vancouver winter . . .

 

Yesterday, I rushed around first thing in the morning tidying up for a cleaning lady who never came (now I’m half-done), but that’s another story that takes too much energy to tell in relation to its importance.

 

If I’m going to spend time telling a story, if I’m going to ask you to invest minutes of your valuable day to read it, it should be a story worth hearing, have some point to make – that adds value in some way to our lives, otherwise, why bother?

 

Please, wake me . . .

 

You are life, and I sit here at your edge, like a beach waiting for your wave. 

 

If you can’t wave, could you at least wink?

 

Take me. Take my by surprise. Shake me up. Startle me. 

 

Noise of life, seems quieter this morning – critic hasn’t gone away, pessimist hasn’t stopped pessimizing, failed idea or big mistake didn’t right themselves overnight – but noise of them is always loudest in my own head – so having those voices fall quiet is a good thing.

 

Don’t you agree, we self-sabotage far more than anyone else ever does to us? 

 

I’ve encountered several people recently, doing just that – sabotaging themselves without need to (not just the cleaning lady).  But noticeable to me, and probably to anyone else who watches or listens. But not the person themselves.  So, what to do about that?

 

Silence. Ignoring/avoiding.  Disconnecting. Running from it.  Those all work.

 

The problem is, if we avoid, flee or deflect every time we see that kind of behavior, soon we’ll be alone, looking in mirrors for company, and probably seeing the same thing there. How do we run from that?  Who wants to?

 

I was wondering, in technology age when instant-everything is way of life, when bakeries sell things so well preserved they last for weeks, why they would offer a discount for day old?  hmmm

 

In this fast pace, when pharmacists fill prescriptions in 15 minutes while you shop in their store, why can’t a doctor’s office find time to return a phone call within a week?   hmmm

 

Am I a day late, or day-old?

 

Not sure – but I know my speed is like the pharmacist in the morning, like the baker by afternoon and by evening I’ve lost the energy required to overcome inertia to pick up the phone.

 

Today I want to resolve to absolve – to set myself free of consequences; not that there won’t be consequences, but to be less concerned about them and more focused on what I do in each moment, on things that are truly important. I’m going to think like a pharmacist, and - on things that are not, I’ll think like a physician (now doctors, don’t get all uppity and write me your complaints .. instead, use the time to return calls to your patients and their families) …. and then, as day lingers on, I’ll bake some bread.

 

And, in closing, here’s a treasure for you:

 

For me, it is a reality check, but not the kind of reality check/cheque you cash. It is a quote I found this morning. I am a quote fan, but this one is far better than just something to season your salad days. Worth putting up on a wall to see every day:

 

‘Art must take reality by surprise.’ – F. Sagan

 

It defines the separation between an artist and some guy with a brush and roller; it splits the space between typing and writing, chiseling and sculpting.  I think it goes so far beyond ‘just showing up’, it means to startle. To awaken. To arrest bodies and fire-up minds.

 

~~~

LAGOON REALITY - archived poetry

 

Essence of it must be

more than the noise alone,

there’s an impact in heat

or cold in its rhythm, in its

power; message clear,

cool - one that just

shows up embodied in sounds

those crickets make

at night or in early morn

because otherwise

there is no time to stop

and listen, no time to

pause for it, to hear nature

talking to me, middle of busy day

working at home sometimes

with windows open on a day

when drizzle stops just

long enough, I can hear

crickets sometimes through

that freshness in the afternoon

just like I do at night or early

in the morning - which strikes me

as truly odd since that lagoon is

four rows of houses over and, well,

actually, it’s not a lagoon at all

it is really called a constructed

wetland because it is, though

I think those crickets think that

they are the real thing.

 

~~~

 

Mark Kolke

321,700

 

RESPONSES/COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME; send to: dailycolumn@markkolke.com

 

 

June 16 Comments

 

June 16 - ROAD TO TRUTH –  Thanks for adding me to your Musings list. Great style and interesting thoughts. I really quite like the poetry.  What starting you writing and what compels you to keep going? I have arrived in the wonderfully hot humid South and am breathing deeply  of the smell of summer. Enjoy your day!, DL, Calgary, AB (on a trip to NC)